where is the wabbit?

The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 yrs of his life.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Wedding is a Day, a marriage is a lifetime

Dear Friends,

It has been an exhausting weekend. We have just completed our Catholic Engagement Encounter last weekend and i would like to share this enriching experience with you. Though this 'retreat' is a matter of 2 days, the sessions were intense, emphatic and deeply perosnal. it forces certain issues into the open that would normally have been difficult to broach. It's often the little trivial issues that lead to frustrations, which if left unexplored could sometimes be symptomatic of larger problems in days to come. I was glad that this experience only re-affirmed our feelings for each other. I came out of this 'retreat' learning how to 'make' love and to ask for forgiveness.

I share with you, my Bethrothal Letter to Alexius. The one and only letter that i wrote for my one and only man, and erratically one of the few that i really meant.... (i hope for your sake that u have something to hang on to coz this is touching stuff coming up...u might just drown in your own tears by the time u reached the end of my letter... !!!! )

"Because I love you I plan to wok on deepening our relationship between now & our wedding day by being more caring, understanding and supportive towards you. I will learn to be more patient instead of ventin my anger and frustrations on you when things dont go my way but by no fault of yours. I will endeavor to pay attention to your needs, listen to you and respect your views in instances where they differ from mine.

Because I love you, I plan to spend more time with your family to try & understand them better and to develop a stronger relationship with them. I am aware that you family play a consequential role in your life, ergo i will love & respect them as my own.

Because I love you, I plan to adopt your denomination as my religion for life. Although we have different values and beliefs, I will go through this with an open mind and heart."

Ti amo

With all my love,

Friday, April 28, 2006

Want or Need

I woke up this morning, took one look around my room, and finally.....after 26 years on this planet disguised as a homo-sapien, i finally see something in my room that is a 'need' and not a 'want'.

Need i elaborate more? Yup, it's my crutches..i need the darn thing to walk now! I am so handicapped now i cant even hold a door open! :( Totally at the mercy of self-absorbed twacks who wouldnt give 2 hoots about the lift door closing on me...

life sucks...treasure ur body parts!


Thursday, April 20, 2006

And the wabbit returns...again!

It would be warped to say that i was on Hiatus....Yes, it seemed like i had ceased to exist on the blogosphere for awhile. Where i used to air my grievances; where i was never alone as i had friends from all over the world who could share my pain & happiness; where is used to mock my silly-looking dog (yup, some things don't change, i still at it!); where i used to seek solace..

I guess it takes a ruptured archilles tendon for me to be able to take time off this fast-paced, senseless life to grant myself an indulgence such as blogging. For all my friends out there, u might be relief to learn that i still breathe and jubilant that i had received my well-deserved penance for leaving you here without so much as a word. I thank you all for being there for me despite all these, and frankly, i do think my present piteous state hardly suffice as reparation.

You would think that when u are on crutches, people around you would be more sympathetic towards u.. Well, not happening! They are not too thrilled about me but totally obsessed with my crutches. It's almost like kids waiting to go on one of those kiddie-rides...u hear them screaming estatically "Can i have a go at ur crutches..." and the likes. pffffffffffffffft life sucks! i guess in the meantime, my dog should go out and bring home the bacon instead...

Saturday, November 05, 2005

In the Battlefield (BEWARE: May cause headache as it did the author!!)

If life is a battle and we work all our lives, ceteris peribus, we are constantly in a battlefield...struggling for our mere survival, or not?

The Grumpy Greek philosopher Heraclitus is generally credited as being the first exponent of the notion that everything is a struggle. He writes that the origin of the world, and of gods and people, stems from the primordial force best described as 'battle' or 'conflict'..which leads me to think (in today's context), is it our destiny to be a back-stabbing scumbag in order to survive.....?? Surely we are following our most primitive instincts, obeying our most deep-seated urge? As socially aware individuals, can we act otherwise?

The conflict we have with one another is very much aimed at survival and the need to procreate. Just as compeition is rife in the animal world, particularly between memebers of the same species. confilcts erupt over territory, food and mates..everyday the struggle for survival continues. All that hissing, humming and growling is simply nature's rendition of 'i will survive'! In this context, my workplace is akin to a jungle...and we, the animals (but whether u r a verminous snake, innocent rabbit or nonchalent zebra really depends on u!) Are we nothing more than a violent, collusive ape? Opinions differ and some suggest that we're really quite nice creatures....

Should i then assume that anyone who plays a dirty trick, undermines their superior, or strives to 'make it' before 40 is simply struggling for survival? Could it be that the backstabbing, gossip, character assassination, coups, takeovers and endless strife are no more than scenes from nature's cruel script?

One philosopher's (can't remember/spell his name for my life! Let's call him N..) observations shed light that is both exciting and discomfiting- "life itself it the desire for power, that i have to be struggle, and becoming, and purpose, and corss-purpose- he who devineth my will, divineth well also on what crooked paths it hath to tread." I interpret his 'crooked path' as a means to attain power...but really, his english is horrid! How do i know?
I get a splitting headache after 5 words...tats why!

Enuff of his quotes in headache-inducing english, lets go back to our basic everyday terms: How do i screw my adversary???? IF we embody in all our friendliness, vicousness, our overt strategies and devious calclations, nothing other than the desire for power, We are officially recognised as an asshole.....No thanks to N.

PS: sorry to bore u with this piece guys, but when u have afew daggers sticking out of ur back, causing u to constantly sleep on ur front....u just have to blog it out..in doing so, hoping that the daggers will eradicate themselves....apparently a silly thought!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

The game of politics

As u guys can see, the fact that i didnt update at all tells u i might have been dead. I am disappointed nobody even bothered to dial 999 at all, i would have been rotting by now u know! Well, i survived, but not without a near-death experience...i am still hanging on a burning rope, mind u. Being thrown callously into the back-stabbing arena (working world in ur words) i wasn't at all prepared for wat was to come and those yet to appear. Despite the seemingly brave front i put up, I was vulnerable ... there are many scrambling to exploit my weaknesses. Their ulitmate goal? to make a goat out of a wabbit (a scapegoat tats is!)

For simplicity sake, lets define weakness as those characteristics that cause people to give themselves over to others; in other words, those areas in which somebody is vulnerable. With the forces at play in our working life, we must constantly be aware that if others get a hint of our weakness and can make use of it, they will! And there i am, a greenhorn with a whole repertoire of temper, inflexibility, fear and vanity; a whole ochestra of characteristics from which to make a symphony.

What have i 'learnt' these few months?? Heaps...

1) Gossips: These things are more deadly than AIDS. There are pple ard me who constantly leak information or spread ideas that might damage another's reputation. Either way, i have learnt to stay in the background and let whispers & back-room gossip do their work.
In any case, some intelligent colleagus will choose to adopt a circuitous route to 'make' me say what i'd preferred to leave unsaid. I've learnt admist this office guerrilla war, that the more i am in control of wat i say or dont say, the better. i have to think carefully before confiding in others as secrets seldom remain secrets for any length of time. What do i do when i am cornered? I usually

  • change the subject when things get difficult..by latching onto some adjective or relative clause & start philisophising about it. (which i am gd at)
  • Pretend to be dumber than i am.
  • Refusing to make promises so i dont trap myself.
  • Start joking (without sounding like a clown of coz)

2) Know Yourself

Regardless of whether u work or not, one of the greatest virtues is the ability to understand our own weaknesses and lock them away from the grubby little paws of the people (also known as snakes/rats/idiots/slobs/pig... depending on situation) around me. One of my vices is my vanity... I crave admiration and recognition. But i soon realise in the corporate life, this can soon turn into an Achilles heel coz the 'people' ard me smell a chance here. Hence, when someone pays me a compliment, i should immediately ponder ' Is this person dependent on me?' , "what do i need from this person?' and i've learnt to remain slightly aloof in the face of 'compliments' (wait! of coz there r genuine compliments sometimes, to tell the difference is a skill i am in the midst of aquiring...gimme 5 yrs :P).

Friday, September 09, 2005

Birthday Wabbit

Thank u Alex for making my birthday such a wonderful event... more grand than national day itself...:P ok, being one yr older is not gonna stop me from exaggerating..not yet! Not on MY blog..... Thank u aunty Judy & uncle Larry for the present, Thank u aunty monica for many small presents and of coz lunch..., thank u uncle andrew and everyone else for ur well-wishes....Thanks mum and dad in advance for the present & meal u owe me...Thank u to my dog 'raskal' for not shitting in my room on my birthday....

Now, Now...to all my other frens dying of guilt for not remembering my birthday....have no fear!!! i am glad to inform/remind u that this is a yearly event...in case u cannot make it next yr, there is always the next...or u can celebrate for me belated..i have no complaints.. :P

i actually wanted to blog about people at work...but the no. one rule to blogging is not to blog abt them coz u never know who reads ur blog and word gets round faster than a forest fire...but then, i might not be able to hold on to my juicy gossips much longer...u see, i realise on my birthday cake that i am actually middle-aged now!!! (assuming i die at 50, which is quite an achievement considering i've had many daggers to my back since i started working) ...and middle-aged pple gossips relentlessly about everything and anything....or not?

oH, and before i go, my dog would like to remind everyone who bothers to read that his birthday is coming soon, though he cant remember the exact date (he has decided on 15th sept...may i remind u guys that he celebrate every month!! darn canine!!), but he wishes to invite everyone to his dog pound for a party..bring a bone and heaps of meat as prove of invitation...thank u.

Geez, can someone pls tell my dog that party hats are meant to be worn on the head not on the nose!!!

Saturday, August 13, 2005

To: the one who stole my mobilephone!

i lost my handphone!!!! *sniff*...whoever took taxi no. SHA 813 X after me (from 10.35 pm onwards-12 Aug 2005) is a big fat thief!! Yes, i am careless. Yes, i am tired (Duh? of coz lah, i worked from 8.15am, to 9.50pm tat fateful day!). Yes, i should not have taken a cab....guilty as charged! (oh, did i also mention i was human??) But hey, all that seems trivial when compare to a thief...at least i do not take what is not rightfully mine!! At least i would return it!! No, really! i would! I called my Hp and the mthfker (short form lah, we all know wat it is rite? if not..guess!it aint hard, for some this is part of ur vocabulary if it is not, it is better u dont know wat it is, else u might faint from shock!)switch off my Hp!!!! It rang the first time...got diverted to my voicemail..when i called again, it was switched off!

Why am i so appalled? Be coz if the same thing happened to me in Melbourne, i would have a 9 in 10 chance of getting my phone back (even if a small reward was required) in Singapore, i have a 1 in 10 chance...No? Apparently in Singapore the phone they picked up IS the reward itself! Anyone ever got their phone picked up by others and returned? inform me, i'll change the statistics! Why is the world plunging into an abyss of theft, violence and lawlessness. The ubiquity of dishonest people is astounding! Oh well,wat do u expect? we live in a society where politicians are experts in circumlocution. However, I do not believe that a person's character is imbued in us the moment we are born. Becoz if that is so, how can anyone 'turn bad' under the undue influence of 'bad company'? If that stands (ceteris peribus), then wat kind of monsters is our society cultivating? Does the words values and morales ring a bell to them? so much for honesty!! Though it (notice i used 'it' coz it is the behaviour of
Homo sapiens! hence i am unclear wat species it is!) didnt steal my phone outright by snatching it away, but taking something that dont belong to you knowing there is a way u can return it to it's rightful owner is tantamount to stealing...No?

It is not the fact that the phone is barely 2 months old & in pristine condition or the cost of buying a new phone that infurates me, it is my 850 contacts that i treasure and the person who bought me the phone is special to me!! Damn u (whoever u are) for stealing my phone, i can feel the anger rise faster than mercury!!! I swear i will lock my next phone so that even if u stole it, u can use it without the correct pin!! yes, i should have done it before...but the not-so-remote possibility of locking myself out is very likely, given that technology has inevitably forced us to live our miserable lives remembering password after password and ID after ID...one day i may need a pin to open my door too! I am utterly disappointed with Singaporeans (not all but the minority,i hope, who are thieves with no integrity and morales!!) remember: wat goes around, comes around! u'll get ur turn one day and then u can be in my pathetic shoes for once...i shall pray for ur pathetic soul coz u r gonna rot in hell! (if there is such a place other than on earth itself) i have to bite my tougue to stop myself from screaming a plethora of expletives.

Despite my anger, the thought of losing all my precious contacts/Hp brought a stinging sensation to my eyes. I didnt want to cry but the recalcitrant tears had a mind of their own.


To the one who stole my phone: if u by any freakishly remote accident realise i am talking about u, YES, YOU there with the long nose and ugly tail! Wat kind of wierd creature are u anyway? spawn of Satan? watever...Just return my precious Hp and admit u make a real gaffe taking it in the first place with no intention to return it and i'll forgive u! (i am dreaming rite? Dont wake me, let me dream!...seems like elation only occurs when one is sloshed, maybe i should try!) Quite frankly, i will forgive u if u confess that u are suffering from kleptomania...coz you must be!!

The End of Whining..thank you for ur time! (albeit wasted)

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Thank You

Words cannot explain how many times you took away my pain.
How you went an extra mile just to keep me sane.
you will never know that you are my pillar, my strength...my therapist, my friend.
On this long and weary journey, you were here with me through it all.
If only you could see that you have saved me a million times from myself
Saved me a million times from jumping off the highest mountain
Each time when i have given up on life and decided i can't go on,
You would reach out your hand to rescue me...
Thanks for saving me a million times from depression.
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