where is the wabbit?

A Wedding is a Day, a marriage is a lifetime

2006-08-24T20:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Friends,

It has been an exhausting weekend. We have just completed our Catholic Engagement Encounter last weekend and i would like to share this enriching experience with you. Though this 'retreat' is a matter of 2 days, the sessions were intense, emphatic and deeply perosnal. it forces certain issues into the open that would normally have been difficult to broach. It's often the little trivial issues that lead to frustrations, which if left unexplored could sometimes be symptomatic of larger problems in days to come. I was glad that this experience only re-affirmed our feelings for each other. I came out of this 'retreat' learning how to 'make' love and to ask for forgiveness.

I share with you, my Bethrothal Letter to Alexius. The one and only letter that i wrote for my one and only man, and erratically one of the few that i really meant.... (i hope for your sake that u have something to hang on to coz this is touching stuff coming up...u might just drown in your own tears by the time u reached the end of my letter... !!!! )

"Because I love you I plan to wok on deepening our relationship between now & our wedding day by being more caring, understanding and supportive towards you. I will learn to be more patient instead of ventin my anger and frustrations on you when things dont go my way but by no fault of yours. I will endeavor to pay attention to your needs, listen to you and respect your views in instances where they differ from mine.

Because I love you, I plan to spend more time with your family to try & understand them better and to develop a stronger relationship with them. I am aware that you family play a consequential role in your life, ergo i will love & respect them as my own.

Because I love you, I plan to adopt your denomination as my religion for life. Although we have different values and beliefs, I will go through this with an open mind and heart."

Ti amo

With all my love,
WW.

Want or Need

2006-04-28T00:56:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning, took one look around my room, and finally.....after 26 years on this planet disguised as a homo-sapien, i finally see something in my room that is a 'need' and not a 'want'.

Need i elaborate more? Yup, it's my crutches..i need the darn thing to walk now! I am so handicapped now i cant even hold a door open! :( Totally at the mercy of self-absorbed twacks who wouldnt give 2 hoots about the lift door closing on me...

life sucks...treasure ur body parts!

*END*

And the wabbit returns...again!

2006-04-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

It would be warped to say that i was on Hiatus....Yes, it seemed like i had ceased to exist on the blogosphere for awhile. Where i used to air my grievances; where i was never alone as i had friends from all over the world who could share my pain & happiness; where is used to mock my silly-looking dog (yup, some things don't change, i still at it!); where i used to seek solace..

I guess it takes a ruptured archilles tendon for me to be able to take time off this fast-paced, senseless life to grant myself an indulgence such as blogging. For all my friends out there, u might be relief to learn that i still breathe and jubilant that i had received my well-deserved penance for leaving you here without so much as a word. I thank you all for being there for me despite all these, and frankly, i do think my present piteous state hardly suffice as reparation.

You would think that when u are on crutches, people around you would be more sympathetic towards u.. Well, not happening! They are not too thrilled about me but totally obsessed with my crutches. It's almost like kids waiting to go on one of those kiddie-rides...u hear them screaming estatically "Can i have a go at ur crutches..." and the likes. pffffffffffffffft life sucks! i guess in the meantime, my dog should go out and bring home the bacon instead...

In the Battlefield (BEWARE: May cause headache as it did the author!!)

2005-11-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

If life is a battle and we work all our lives, ceteris peribus, we are constantly in a battlefield...struggling for our mere survival, or not?

The Grumpy Greek philosopher Heraclitus is generally credited as being the first exponent of the notion that everything is a struggle. He writes that the origin of the world, and of gods and people, stems from the primordial force best described as 'battle' or 'conflict'..which leads me to think (in today's context), is it our destiny to be a back-stabbing scumbag in order to survive.....?? Surely we are following our most primitive instincts, obeying our most deep-seated urge? As socially aware individuals, can we act otherwise?

The conflict we have with one another is very much aimed at survival and the need to procreate. Just as compeition is rife in the animal world, particularly between memebers of the same species. confilcts erupt over territory, food and mates..everyday the struggle for survival continues. All that hissing, humming and growling is simply nature's rendition of 'i will survive'! In this context, my workplace is akin to a jungle...and we, the animals (but whether u r a verminous snake, innocent rabbit or nonchalent zebra really depends on u!) Are we nothing more than a violent, collusive ape? Opinions differ and some suggest that we're really quite nice creatures....

Should i then assume that anyone who plays a dirty trick, undermines their superior, or strives to 'make it' before 40 is simply struggling for survival? Could it be that the backstabbing, gossip, character assassination, coups, takeovers and endless strife are no more than scenes from nature's cruel script?

One philosopher's (can't remember/spell his name for my life! Let's call him N..) observations shed light that is both exciting and discomfiting- "life itself it the desire for power, that i have to be struggle, and becoming, and purpose, and corss-purpose- he who devineth my will, divineth well also on what crooked paths it hath to tread." I interpret his 'crooked path' as a means to attain power...but really, his english is horrid! How do i know?
I get a splitting headache after 5 words...tats why!

Enuff of his quotes in headache-inducing english, lets go back to our basic everyday terms: How do i screw my adversary???? IF we embody in all our friendliness, vicousness, our overt strategies and devious calclations, nothing other than the desire for power, We are officially recognised as an asshole.....No thanks to N.

PS: sorry to bore u with this piece guys, but when u have afew daggers sticking out of ur back, causing u to constantly sleep on ur front....u just have to blog it out..in doing so, hoping that the daggers will eradicate themselves....apparently a silly thought!

The game of politics

2005-11-01T09:46:00.000+08:00

As u guys can see, the fact that i didnt update at all tells u i might have been dead. I am disappointed nobody even bothered to dial 999 at all, i would have been rotting by now u know! Well, i survived, but not without a near-death experience...i am still hanging on a burning rope, mind u. Being thrown callously into the back-stabbing arena (working world in ur words) i wasn't at all prepared for wat was to come and those yet to appear. Despite the seemingly brave front i put up, I was vulnerable ... there are many scrambling to exploit my weaknesses. Their ulitmate goal? to make a goat out of a wabbit (a scapegoat tats is!)

For simplicity sake, lets define weakness as those characteristics that cause people to give themselves over to others; in other words, those areas in which somebody is vulnerable. With the forces at play in our working life, we must constantly be aware that if others get a hint of our weakness and can make use of it, they will! And there i am, a greenhorn with a whole repertoire of temper, inflexibility, fear and vanity; a whole ochestra of characteristics from which to make a symphony.

What have i 'learnt' these few months?? Heaps...

1) Gossips: These things are more deadly than AIDS. There are pple ard me who constantly leak information or spread ideas that might damage another's reputation. Either way, i have learnt to stay in the background and let whispers & back-room gossip do their work.
In any case, some intelligent colleagus will choose to adopt a circuitous route to 'make' me say what i'd preferred to leave unsaid. I've learnt admist this office guerrilla war, that the more i am in control of wat i say or dont say, the better. i have to think carefully before confiding in others as secrets seldom remain secrets for any length of time. What do i do when i am cornered? I usually

change the subject when things get difficult..by latching onto some adjective or relative clause & start philisophising about it. (which i am gd at)
Pretend to be dumber than i am.
Refusing to make promises so i dont trap myself.
Start joking (without sounding like a clown of coz)

2) Know Yourself

Regardless of whether u work or not, one of the greatest virtues is the ability to understand our own weaknesses and lock them away from the grubby little paws of the people (also known as snakes/rats/idiots/slobs/pig... depending on situation) around me. One of my vices is my vanity... I crave admiration and recognition. But i soon realise in the corporate life, this can soon turn into an Achilles heel coz the 'people' ard me smell a chance here. Hence, when someone pays me a compliment, i should immediately ponder ' Is this person dependent on me?' , "what do i need from this person?' and i've learnt to remain slightly aloof in the face of 'compliments' (wait! of coz there r genuine compliments sometimes, to tell the difference is a skill i am in the midst of aquiring...gimme 5 yrs :P).

Birthday Wabbit

2005-09-09T10:33:00.000+08:00

Thank u Alex for making my birthday such a wonderful event... more grand than national day itself...:P ok, being one yr older is not gonna stop me from exaggerating..not yet! Not on MY blog..... Thank u aunty Judy & uncle Larry for the present, Thank u aunty monica for many small presents and of coz lunch..., thank u uncle andrew and everyone else for ur well-wishes....Thanks mum and dad in advance for the present & meal u owe me...Thank u to my dog 'raskal' for not shitting in my room on my birthday....

Now, Now...to all my other frens dying of guilt for not remembering my birthday....have no fear!!! i am glad to inform/remind u that this is a yearly event...in case u cannot make it next yr, there is always the next...or u can celebrate for me belated..i have no complaints.. :P

i actually wanted to blog about people at work...but the no. one rule to blogging is not to blog abt them coz u never know who reads ur blog and word gets round faster than a forest fire...but then, i might not be able to hold on to my juicy gossips much longer...u see, i realise on my birthday cake that i am actually middle-aged now!!! (assuming i die at 50, which is quite an achievement considering i've had many daggers to my back since i started working) ...and middle-aged pple gossips relentlessly about everything and anything....or not?

oH, and before i go, my dog would like to remind everyone who bothers to read that his birthday is coming soon, though he cant remember the exact date (he has decided on 15th sept...may i remind u guys that he celebrate every month!! darn canine!!), but he wishes to invite everyone to his dog pound for a party..bring a bone and heaps of meat as prove of invitation...thank u.

Geez, can someone pls tell my dog that party hats are meant to be worn on the head not on the nose!!!

To: the one who stole my mobilephone!

2005-08-13T12:13:00.000+08:00

i lost my handphone!!!! *sniff*...whoever took taxi no. SHA 813 X after me (from 10.35 pm onwards-12 Aug 2005) is a big fat thief!! Yes, i am careless. Yes, i am tired (Duh? of coz lah, i worked from 8.15am, to 9.50pm tat fateful day!). Yes, i should not have taken a cab....guilty as charged! (oh, did i also mention i was human??) But hey, all that seems trivial when compare to a thief...at least i do not take what is not rightfully mine!! At least i would return it!! No, really! i would! I called my Hp and the mthfker (short form lah, we all know wat it is rite? if not..guess!it aint hard, for some this is part of ur vocabulary if it is not, it is better u dont know wat it is, else u might faint from shock!)switch off my Hp!!!! It rang the first time...got diverted to my voicemail..when i called again, it was switched off!

Why am i so appalled? Be coz if the same thing happened to me in Melbourne, i would have a 9 in 10 chance of getting my phone back (even if a small reward was required) in Singapore, i have a 1 in 10 chance...No? Apparently in Singapore the phone they picked up IS the reward itself! Anyone ever got their phone picked up by others and returned? inform me, i'll change the statistics! Why is the world plunging into an abyss of theft, violence and lawlessness. The ubiquity of dishonest people is astounding! Oh well,wat do u expect? we live in a society where politicians are experts in circumlocution. However, I do not believe that a person's character is imbued in us the moment we are born. Becoz if that is so, how can anyone 'turn bad' under the undue influence of 'bad company'? If that stands (ceteris peribus), then wat kind of monsters is our society cultivating? Does the words values and morales ring a bell to them? so much for honesty!! Though it (notice i used 'it' coz it is the behaviour of
Homo sapiens! hence i am unclear wat species it is!) didnt steal my phone outright by snatching it away, but taking something that dont belong to you knowing there is a way u can return it to it's rightful owner is tantamount to stealing...No?

It is not the fact that the phone is barely 2 months old & in pristine condition or the cost of buying a new phone that infurates me, it is my 850 contacts that i treasure and the person who bought me the phone is special to me!! Damn u (whoever u are) for stealing my phone, i can feel the anger rise faster than mercury!!! I swear i will lock my next phone so that even if u stole it, u can use it without the correct pin!! yes, i should have done it before...but the not-so-remote possibility of locking myself out is very likely, given that technology has inevitably forced us to live our miserable lives remembering password after password and ID after ID...one day i may need a pin to open my door too! I am utterly disappointed with Singaporeans (not all but the minority,i hope, who are thieves with no integrity and morales!!) remember: wat goes around, comes around! u'll get ur turn one day and then u can be in my pathetic shoes for once...i shall pray for ur pathetic soul coz u r gonna rot in hell! (if there is such a place other than on earth itself) i have to bite my tougue to stop myself from screaming a plethora of expletives.

Despite my anger, the thought of losing all my precious contacts/Hp brought a stinging sensation to my eyes. I didnt want to cry but the recalcitrant tears had a mind of their own.

Addendum:

To the one who stole my phone: if u by any freakishly remote accident realise i am talking about u, YES, YOU there with the long nose and ugly tail! Wat kind of wierd creature are u anyway? spawn of Satan? watever...Just return my precious Hp and admit u make a real gaffe taking it in the first place with no intention to return it and i'll forgive u! (i am dreaming rite? Dont wake me, let me dream!...seems like elation only occurs when one is sloshed, maybe i should try!) Quite frankly, i will forgive u if u confess that u are suffering from kleptomania...coz you must be!!

The End of Whining..thank you for ur time! (albeit wasted)

Thank You

2005-08-02T01:24:00.000+08:00

Words cannot explain how many times you took away my pain.
How you went an extra mile just to keep me sane.
you will never know that you are my pillar, my strength...my therapist, my friend.
On this long and weary journey, you were here with me through it all.
If only you could see that you have saved me a million times from myself
Saved me a million times from jumping off the highest mountain
Each time when i have given up on life and decided i can't go on,
You would reach out your hand to rescue me...
Thanks for saving me a million times from depression.

Can't live with it, can't live without it...guess what?

2005-07-15T11:38:00.000+08:00

The room was stone cold as i sat there alone waiting for some wild beast to emerge from the door and gobble me up...that idea appeared to be more appealing than sitting here waiting for my death sentence to be passed at their grace. I could hear my heart pounding, my erratic breathing..right down to the water molecules that burst out of my sweat glands with such force you'd think they were gasping for air. Without warning, the door swung open ... i bolted up to my feet out of fright if not reverence for the emanating moster. There in the narrow hallway stood not one but two such creatures, the only thing that was dauntless enough to pass through the door was a small ray of light peeking in from the hallway.

They wasted no time! They pinned me to the wall, mutilated my self-confidence and was close to inducing cadiovascular mulfunction..but the most unbearable pain inflicted on me, was that of a delayed death sentence. It's almost as if they didn't wanna kill their prey with just a shot through it's heart, but rather opted to inflict multiple (seemingly harmless) small paper cuts all over the victim's body before they submerge the body in concentrated saline water. This malevolent & sadistic ritual will be sufficient to cause the victim (Me in this case) to succumb to death as a result of the excruciating pain.

But i was wrong, their plan was not for me to die..not yet anyway! Astutely, i was told to wait for my sentence. Yesterday, i finally received news of their intentions...they gave it to me short and sweet:' We would like to invite you to attend a second interview on Monday 18th july.' There! I had to go through the torture all over again, only this time...i'm convinced i won't make it out alive!

Testosterone and Handbags..

2005-07-01T13:17:00.000+08:00

Recently i went to Malaysia for durians and someone called my bf a 'girly' man for carrying my handbag. I did not rebut then out of respect for that person's age but i swear to god i developed 10 arguments in my head that could potentially cripple his self-esteem. Let's call him uncle A for convenience sake.

i think uncle A meant to say: ' why let him carry ur bag when u can do so urself? don't you think it that effeminates your guy'...but he didn't..instead, he implied that with an innocent, vapid 'girly man' comment which he must think is brilliant coz i most certainly am NOT impressed (with all due respect). What uncle A don't realise is that it takes a lot of courage for my bf and another other guy, for that matter, to carry a woman's handbag...oh yes!....don't believe? i dare all u guys who disagree to carry a lady's bag and trudge around town all day! Now that's a MAN! one with courage! I would like to think uncle A jeered at my bf coz he himself dont have the courage to carry his girl's handbag..poor guy!

I am flabbergasted this kind of preposterous bollocks still thrives in our society, this is one opinion that i personally do not espouse. Are (some) men so blinded by their over-inflated ego to see that this guy-holding-gf's-handbag- thingy has now evolved into ubiquity. Look, there is nothing unmanly about guys holding their gf's handbags..these guys are known as gentlemenly not wo-menly. This society is pissing me off...always stereotyping..always so judgemental...so if a guy gels his hair he is vain (which he probably is) but does that make him girly? if a guy wears ear-rings...he is more likely than not to be gay? If a guy sits with his legs crossed so tight he appears to have merged two testicles into one, he is girly? If a man chooses to keep his hair long, is that girly? well, u people have no complaints about movie stars with long hair do u? Oh and u guys should have seen one of my male fren run for his life when he sees a lizard..how un-manly is THAT? ha..but he refuses to carry his gf's bag for the exact same reason.

If the phrase don't judge a book by its cover stands...then i think no one practices it..EVER! What exactly is the quintessence of machismo? Carrying a mere handbag does not make u any lesser of a man as long as u still have the same amount of testosterone in u!! No? Wat is that i hear? carrying a woman's handbag is embarrassing to you? that's an ironic one...ah, the idiosyncrasy of life...Lets see, you manly men don't see us girls refuse to hold ur manly hand in public coz you look fugly rite? tat's embarrassing to us u know..our reputation and good taste at stake here if we were to be seen clinging on to ur arm. You men don't hear about your mum handing you over to your dad when u were a baby coz u make so much noise and draw unncessary attention to ur mum...utter embarrassement. Do you think women look and feel good carrying ur child in their tummy for 9 months?? of coz not! To think (some of) u guys are making so much noise about carrying a mere handbag. Besides, u guys should be glad u r carrying our handbags and not the other way around..coz we girls tend to carry branded LVs, Pradas, Gucci etc...and u guys carry wat? Nike plastic bag ah? pfffffft. Surely our LVs and Gucci would add more class to ur image if u r carrying them rite (albeit sometimes fake!)

Well, my bf offered to carry my bag anyway...coz he is so sweet and considerate...worrying that i might succumb to premature osteoporosis under all that weight. Anyway, i've never had a bf who wouldn't carry my handbag (or watever bag i am carrying)..yes, even if i didn't whine for him to...there is no need for me to whine. For all u guys who advocates uncle A's views..i think u might have to find girls who are equally stereotypical. Oh well, to each it's own..

Meme: 5 things i miss

2005-06-27T14:16:00.000+08:00

No thanks to Carol, who tagged me with this. Ok, i am not sure how to do it lah..but i try my best..here goes:

Five things I miss about my childhood:

This is tough, coz i didnt have a childhood. When other kids were playing and having fun, i was indoors doing assessment books as if my life depended on it. I could otherwise be found learning piano, swimming, drawing, ballet...etc..u name it, i've tried it...having said that, i don't think i have much of a childhood to miss. But i'm gonna try anyway so carol won't be disappointed..
things i remember missing....

i missed seeing my parents when i was a child..they never had time for me :(

I missed my toy, my companion, my only friend: Elmo

I missed the games i never got to play, the friends i didnt have time to make, the telly i can't watch and the assessment books that bored me to sleep everynight.

I missed the meat-balls and seaweeds that i used to buy from my school canteen during lunch time.

I missed my innocence, when i think the world can't be bad and can do me no harm...when i was still gullible and naive...when a mere lollipop can bring joy to my heart and sunshine on a cloudy day.

¿es este bastante bueno? la verdad es yo no tiene ninguna niñez.

To those i am gonna tag, don't hate me!! You are:

Agent-x (becoz u r getting lazy :P)

Imran-x (becoz i suspect u gave me stiff neck and u also got an x..go well with agent-x leh...No?)

i run out of x-es..tag two can anot?

Laksa

2005-06-21T13:29:00.000+08:00

We never really appreciate the things we have till it's gone. This has never been more true as i beheld the sight of this local 'delicacy'.

Despite my inflamed throat, an obstinate cough, fever and hence impending death….I have decided against all odds to indulge myself in this bowl of Laksa. Laksa is everywhere in Singapore. No big deal to most people... But when u spend 5 years in a country where you will be greeted with peculiar stares when u mouth the very word…this bowl of Laksa is a delicacy I’ve been deprived of for too long. Of coz if you are willing to pay A$9.50, u might be lucky enough to stumble upon something that bears an uncanny resemblance to Laksa (however tastes far from the real thing for whatever reasons…) Then again, you may consider cooking it yourself…which will find you in a position where you’ll be tearing up every cook book you ever owned and tossing it into the furnace without as much as a second thought or hesitation. At this moment, you may even develop a new-found respect for (food) photographers for having led u on innumerable times (and regrettably, many more to come..).

Sorry, I digress. There I was, sitting in a coffee shop that could have effortlessly registered 45 degree Celsius (113 Fahrenheit). The lady who was suppose to deliver my Laksa to me obviously has trouble locating me as she did two 360s in the middle of the coffee shop, spilling some of the Laksa soup on the tray as a result…That’s it! Dry Laksa is NOT acceptable. I endeavored to stand up so she could see me, but found my legs reefed to the ground instead…OMG, the inevitable has happened!!! My legs have finally melted under the heat…arghhhhhhhhhhhh. I looked down only to discover my heels wedged between the slit of two tiles on the floor…I breathe a sigh of relief so loud the Laksa lady found me!

I proceeded to devour my Laksa … I could feel my taste-buds come alive! Just as I was slurping up the last of my Laksa soup, I felt a pair of eyes fixated on me. I contemplated the possibility of a ghost…but I figured the ghost would have melted under the heat anyway (thinking it was in hell or something). I turned around to find the owner of those eyes is a little girl of about six. I overheard her mum asked her ‘Girl ah, what do you want to eat?’ The little girl pointed at my empty bowl (literally)…her mum looked over and retorted impatiently ‘You point to an empty bowl, how I know what that was? Why don’t you go look at the pictures and choose what u want to eat?’

I believe the little girl was under the impression that my Laksa must be very delicious since I ate it with such relish. Little did she know this is my first bowl of Laksa in 10 months (and the last one I ate was lousy by any standard). To be fair, the Laksa was quite good..Time to leave this humid place and dive for the next air-conditioned shopping center. As I walked past her, I mustered a tiny burp …that should give her a clue as to what I was eating… And I am not being uncouth here, I am helping the poor girl out. You guys should have been there to see her gaze longingly at my empty bowl…it’s almost as if there was an invisible Barbie doll in the bowl.

On Hiatus no More

2005-06-16T13:36:00.000+08:00

Back from Hiatus. That wasn't too long was it? Each time i return to Singapore, it is inevitable that my nose will run, eyes will water ... but not as a result of overwhelming emotions.. more akin to a bout of influenza. Yes, the Wabbit is sick! how exciting..the doctor prefers to shift the blame on the germs in Singapore. She claims i am not used to the germs here anymore thats why i always fall sick when i return to sg.

Usually when a person falls sick, ur family and frens will fuss over u like..nursing u back to health like a baby. Not for me....because everyone 'expects' me to fall sick... it happens everytime i come back. My body's defense to the bactria thriving in this humid air is almost non-existant...

A whole new world (yes, it is a song. No, i will not be handing out the lyrics..i hope u didn't get here via google)

2005-06-12T18:03:00.000+08:00

So much to share with u guys, so little time and NO computer or Internet connection watsoever...Anyway, here i am, stealing time off someone's computer on the pretext of helping her find some stuff online :P *Impish grin*

Since i have been back to sunny (understatement!!..should have used scorching instead!!! but sunny paints a lovelier picture rite?) S'pore, i've rediscovered some things:

1) Taxi drivers i've encountered so far (which is a lot i assure u!) have been unbelievably nice, helpful and courteous..business must be bad.

2) It costs $9.50 to watch a movie on weekends (when i left Spore it only cost $5.50)...there goes my weekends!

3) Dreams don't come true!! I returned to Singapore only to discover winter has not yet arrived..and to my dismay, never will!

4) It is possible to get lost in Marina Square.

5) It takes two weeks to connect my broadband ??!!???pfffft.. just kill me! don't torment me like this!!!

6) 2 weeks is probably all it takes to become highly proficient in singlish... almost every verbal interaction with a Singaporean will find me caught in a web of unintelligible lah, leh, mah, liao, lor, shiok....and the likes. Naming all the singlish terms would be tantamount to counting the grains of rice in my bowl.

ok guys, i gotto go now...till we meet again....

One word!!

2005-06-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

I am back in Singapore!! one word can summarise the initial feeling when my paws touch it's soil...HOT!!!!!!!! no kidding man. the weather is a cold-blooded killer i assure u. i have no computer to use for the time being :( and mobile line and bank account...basically, i am disorganised and unsettled...but thats not half as bad as my dog, who had to take a plane...phew, the trauma, he thinks i've signed him up for 'Survival Singapore' or something...he's so shaken he doesn't even enjoy copulation anymore.

Wat have i been doing since i came back..well, i've been hiding at home in the comfort of my dusty air-conditioned room...the humidity is almost choking...but i'll survive(i think)

i missed u guys...i took some pictures and have stories i hope i will remember to tell (when my new PC arrives). I went to a computer fair at the expo today...that place could easily have broken the guiness book of records for being the most crowded public place on earth. Look, i've been traumatised enough by the heat, don't have to add salt to my wound by having people trample over me, screaming into my ears..etc...i went into the computer expo a hot (literally) wabbit and came out a wounded wabbit...not funnie! :(

i have pictures for u guys but first i will have to get my PC delivered first. Meantime, i'll be at internet cafes reading u guys up :) as and when i can.

Hey carol..i learn some more spanish on the plane...i didn't know they actually have the progam on board...Singapore airline rocks lah!

The Journey Home

2005-06-01T14:39:00.000+08:00

Here i am...homeless and helpless for awhile
waking up in a strange bed, i can't recognise the tiles
A chapter of my life tucked away into a file
feeling lost and depressed, I walked for a mile
Thankful for all my friends, who have been there all these while.

I hope to post happy things again soon
I apologise for my unpleasant mood
But i do believe the adventures ahead will be good
For Singapore has in abundance good food.

Gracias carol por su email encantador. Gracias por hacer mi día, diario. Pero sobre todo, agradezco a dios (si hay uno) ese yo le encontré y los individuos de kunsta..you trajeron la sol nuevamente dentro de mis días y quitaron los rasgones que me acompañan en la noche. Ahora sé que alguien cuida en el otro lado.

Why blog?? you ask....

2005-05-29T16:45:00.000+08:00

When Wabbit first started a blog, she was not fixated on having an audience. When she stumbled upon some newfound cyber-friends (u ALL know who u are) as a result of blogging, she was delighted and flabbergasted all at once. Though they have not met and probably never will, these cyber-friends unwittingly formed some kind of a support group for each other. Be it cheering each other on, lending a shoulder to cry on, someone to lament to or providing an abundance of encouragement or praise, they were there....rain or shine, night or day! Their blogs, chronicling their personal struggle with everyday life, were indicative of their characters and personalities. The majority of people who read blogs won’t post comments, but ‘lurk’ in the blogosphere. What stands out here is the sense of community, about how people from all over the world (literally) really seem to care about me and my story. There are also differences in blogging styles too, some are clearly aware of their audience and keen to get a laugh. Some are so mysterious, they do not display any of their pictures or reveal their real name. For others, reading their blog is like taking a peek into their most private thoughts. Their blogs are usually littered with personal photos.

In life, shit happens and we all have to deal with it. For some of us, we’ve been through a lot and we’re tired of being portrayed as a victim, a sad person. We needed someone to laugh with. Sometimes fostering a bond also meant teasing each other and laughing at each other. Here on the Wabbit’s blog, she found those people. At times when one of us was down (as reflected by our post) we would take turns propping each other up from day-to-day.

There are times when you just know that u do not need to meet someone face-to-face for your friendship to endure. When the Wabbit feels that she ‘needs’ to speak to someone and no one could understand, she blogs... She wakes up each morning and puts on a mask for the world to see, at night she takes it off and go to bed, the only other time she can speak her mind is when she blogs. Here, she can be totally honest, there is no need (nor reason) to pretend to be someone else...coz none of them would judge her merely by her words! These cyber-friends are more real to her than some of her ‘real-life’ friends. It’s the type of friendship that doesn’t need to exist in the same geography to be real. They could be nameless strangers without a face, but each of them hold a uniquely special place in her heart.... I’m glad u guys found me and I you.

Banking Woes

2005-05-26T20:39:00.000+08:00

Good manners doesn’t cost anything, which makes me wonder why it is in such short supply. Aren’t these suppose to be core values? Might as well start giving rewards for saying ‘Thank You’ and ‘Please’ ......pfffttttttt.

I paid a visit to the most dreadful place in the world...The Bank. When you are in a bank, you would expect to be stuck in a queue that didn’t move. That was what I got myself into, a queue that didn’t move an iota in 15 mins. What I did NOT expect, was someone tapping me on my shoulder with this request ‘Hey, can you let me go first? I am in a hurry.’....Lame excuse, who isn’t? I thought to myself. But since I was the last person in a queue (that didn’t move) of 6, I decided I did not have anything to lose, so I obliged to her request. Well, I was not exactly expecting a ‘Thank You Hamper’ or anything but at least mumble a ‘Thank you’ rite?? She didn’t! It was as if letting her go first was the ‘right’ thing for me to do since her excuse was so ‘superb’ she could possibly get away with murder! ill-mannered piece of s*** Never mind, I didn’t expect anything in return for letting her go first.. I was just appalled with the things people take for granted and their lack of manners.

After 5 more excruciating minutes in that queue (that didn’t move...still!), I was almost convinced there was a hold up (robbery...for those who don’t understand this term). I mean, what better excuse for their incompetence? Lets see, they had 7 counters, 3 tellers (actually at the window serving customers) and a queue (Oh, did I mentioned it didn’t move?) of 6 (excluding me)...I reckoned if I went home, took a shower, have a nap and came back, I could still slot myself comfortably back into 7th place (or if I am lucky, 6th)
What happened next provided some much-needed entertainment for me...I saw a man left the queue and went up to a unattended counter with this sign: ‘Counter Closed’.. and demanded to be served immediately because he had $1000 he wants to bank in! The teller replied him bluntly ‘Can’t you read the sign.’ He was furious!! He mumbled something about never banking with them again and left. Maybe if he had a million dollars cash with him, he would have gotten his way AND a complimentary cup of coffee!

Remember the lady who asked to go first? Well, she must have had it...coz she left after just 5 mins in the queue. Oh I was so wrong! When I finally made it to the line that separates the counter from the queue (after about 1 year...kidding, but it sure seems like it), she re-emerged out of nowhere and literally scrambled for the next available teller. Hey, you don’t give up your spot in a queue (which was OFFERED to her by MUA), give it up to go for coffee or something, and come back to ‘reclaim’ your place. All these, done without ANY INDICATION of gratefulness or remorse or any explaination whatsoever! Yup, No ‘Thank You’ NO ‘Sorry’..in fact, she never even used the word ‘Excuse Me’ (she use Hey! To get my attention in the first place)..I doubt any of those words are in her ~~limited~~ vocabulary!! Maybe schools should attempt to instil some core value in children from young and start teaching them some critical bank terminology like ‘Queue Here’, ‘Counter Closed’, and particularly in the suburb I live in, they may find it useful to know the terms ‘Hold Up!’ and ‘Everyone on the Floor!’

I should have just used my trusted piggy bank instead!

No frills! No fuss! No rude people! No irritating teller trying to convince me to open 3 new accounts as part of their new attractive package -2 of which I would have no need for, or money to sustain in the long run without incurring additional charges as a result of failing to meet the minimum amount required! Can u believe she tried to sell me that when I told her I am there to CLOSE my account coz I am moving overseas! Is she even listening to me? Oh wait, maybe it’s because she started interrupting me before I could even get to the overseas part! I think the tellers were trained/conditioned to start offering alternative packages the minute they hear the words ‘closing my account’.. Well Done! And last but not least, NO QUEUE..(Sorry, I can’t emphasize enough throughout this post how the queue didn’t move and when it did move, it was barely noticeable!)

Once was Lost and but now am found...

2005-05-26T00:48:00.000+08:00

I dread moving house.. in this case, moving back to sg !!

Things u will find when u finally get down to packing your house:

1) You used to be size 6!! (OR I must have been ten yrs old or something ... to fit into that blouse!)
2) A half eaten bowl of maggot-infested cereal
3) The single missing sock you’ve been searching for 2 years! (Of coz, now u can’t remember where the other half went! A vicious cycle all over again... I should just stick to wearing slippers!)
4) You actually have another DOG! Geez.. (Thank god it’s only a toy! False alarm guys...I’m as relief as u r I assure u!)
5) Speeding fines that u try so hard to ‘lose’, yup...found! I wonder if the federal government considered this bad debt or is it still doubtful debt? Coz I am pretty doubtful I will pay them! Ever!
6) Massive Granny panties... so fugly! Can’t believe I had one of those, almost mistook it for my beanie.. oh well, I’m sure the salvation army would die for these. Or not?
7) That you have 2 hair-dryers, 6 wallets, 5 backpacks, and a duplicate of every CD u ever bought... and to think each time I bought those items thinking I had lost the last one! Can’t really blame me can ya? But if u must, my best defence would be my physical make up: 2 X chromosomes!! Women need retail therapy once in awhile (read: everyday)
8) Your worse result slip ever wedged between door hinges to stop it from squeaking or something... Yes, it is most likely to remain there forever!
9) The perfume u loved so much (4 yrs ago.. I think) you can’t bear to use it..only to find the fragrance replaced by an unsightly dark yellow urine-like substance (Yucks). Hey wait! I didn’t even use it. Why only 3/4 left??...oh...maybe it evaporated! I grabbed my (present) beloved Chanel Allure off the shelf and started spraying it on myself like crazy..before history repeats itself 5 yrs later!
10) If you stumble upon a bank statement that has 5 digits, don’t be too happy yet. That was 3 year ago...damn!
11) The nail-clipper when you DON’T need it.
12) The spider u injured badly (apparently dead then) is ALIVE and had the audacity to start a family and weave a zillion webs in your kitchen!

Of heartbreaking moments....

2005-05-24T19:28:00.000+08:00

He was showing this really cute girl the 'correct' way to brush her teeth. I can't hear the exact words but whatever he said sent her into a giggling fit. Next day, they were re-enacting snow white and the seven dwarves.. He is of course the charming prince that came to kiss her back to life. A very innocent peck on her soft cheeks was all it took for her to blush. An hour later, they were holding hands. At the same moment, the bell went off.. it was time to go back to class. I was left standing in the courtyard, camouflaged behind a small bush. The sound of my heart breaking was so deafening I wondered how anyone could have heard that bell go off. One day he was holding my hand and the next day hers. That was the first time I had my heart broken....I was six.

***

I brought Y along for the first time, introduced Y to the friends who meant so much to me. We had so much fun playing 'truth or dare' that night...My friends loved Y, he was funnie, cute, smart..u name it, he has it. I was ecstatic! For some reason, my friends and I never seem to concur when it comes to the type of guys we like, but this time, the verdict was unanimous. Unfortunately, one of my friends loved Y a tad too much...of all people, it had to be someone i considered my best friend (at that time). When i argued with him, she was on my side. Little did i know that they spent endless nights on the phone behind my back... When the arguing got more frequent than my meals, Y decided he wants out of the relationship. The excuse was i became more and more irascible. My answer was in the affirmative. What was disconcerting, was the fact that my 'then' best friend ended up with Y a week later and neither had the courage to tell me...I had to hear it from someone else. Somehow love has burgeoned between them in the span of ONE week. I was heart-broken again, not by Y but my (ex) best friend. A sense of betrayal consumed me.

***

L was more than just a friend, he was a mentor and a business partner. L had his own business. He makes me feel like the smartest person on earth because he valued my opinion. I was included in every business plan..soon, i was a partner. He taught me things i would never have known without him and i opened up his mind to new possibilities and ideas. It was almost a match made in heaven. But good things never happen to me....for long. It is inevitable that couples argue..in fact it think that is healthy. However, hurling an iron my way in a fit of anger was not my idea of a healthy argument. On separate occasions, items such as books and mouse (no, not a real one..computer mouse)narrowly missed my head as they whisked past me. I could deny it no more..L had a problem with anger management (or rather the lack of it) but he wouldn't admit it or seek help. After each outburst, heaps of presents and apologies flooded my mailbox.. In one desperate attempt, a car was offered in exchange for my forgiveness (No, i didnt take it!). Leaving someone I respected greatly and who loves me deeply broke my heart once again...but yours truly is going to have to make a run for her life!

***

If a cat has nine lives, i do hope that a wabbit has just as many hearts..to mention the number of times my heart has been torn apart would probably take an entire menstrual cycle. My position on relationships has often been misconstrued by friends/acquaintances. In their opinion, i am choosy, but really...it's just that i've been hurt. Some swear by their Louis Vuitton collection that i probably had more men in my life than they have clothes in their wardrobe. Wrong again! I don't! If you made an effort to understand me, u will realise that all i wanted is simply a loving and faithful guy..a combination believed to be a rarity in itself in today's context, and if this combination existed it would be ephemeral! Well, that's life..shit happens! However, had i lost all faith in men as a result of such hapless incidents, i would never have found my one true love today.

Au Revoir ... Je Ne Regrette Rien

2005-05-21T20:13:00.000+08:00

It was here that she achieved her goals.
It was here that she found her one true love.
It was also here that she spent endless melancholy autumn days and forlorn winter nights..those times that play a vital part in the development of her strong and independent character.
It was here that she found herself..and her direction in life.
She found solace in her newfound friends here, in part to help her get over the ones she has lost.
She sacrificed much to be here... friendship, love....

After four and a half years, it is finally time for her to go back to her country.
The country that she was reluctant to leave in the first place because it would mean stepping out of her comfort zone. She is who she is today partly because of her country..it was where she belonged...in the end. But leaving this place she has called her home for the past four and a half years proved to be tough. She had to literally schlep herself home.

As pieces of furniture start to disappear from her house, she feels an overwhelming sense of loss and sadness...it's almost akin to lacerating a life that she built here and re-building it in a place where she was once so familiar with but now feels strangely distant towards. Right now, her emotions oscillate between trepidation and hope. What is she to expect? How will she fit in again? She is sceptical about going back to a culture where people judge you all the time by every little thing u do or say (not that she thinks anyone is fit to judge another), where freedom of speech is really a luxury, where you show respect to your elders by conforming to their ways and their mindset (short of which u will be blacklisted as insolent)...

Tears stream down her cheeks as she contemplate the difficult road ahead which she is prepared to face, but she does not know how ...she does not want to hurt people she loves or people who loves her just because she is accustomed to a different way of life....a way that not many can or will understand unless they’ve been there before. Perhaps the one person who can understand her is in the same room with her right now. Yes, she may have changed, but in the end.... Je Ne Regrette Rien (I have no regrets).

If she could live her life again, she would make the same mistakes all over again..only this time, she’ll make them much sooner. It’s through the mistakes we make that we learn and she is not afraid to make mistakes, not afraid to be wrong..not afraid to learn!
We need not be perfect, but heaven only knows how hard we try...

Pass the musical Baton on already! Geez....

2005-05-21T02:42:00.000+08:00

I've been music baton-ed! No thanks to agent-x! For some reason, i am on his ~~hate~~ hit list. Anyway, here goes:

Total volume of music files on my computer:
16 GB - 1821 songs

The last CD I bought was:
Confessions - Usher.
(Okay lah i confess..most times i indulge in piracy!!sshhhh)

Song playing right now:
Pachelbel Canon in D - Boys Soprano Choir

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

1. If i ain't got you by Alicia Keys
2. When the war is over by Cosima De Vito
3. Because i got High by Afroman
4. Clint Eastwood by Gorrillas
5. No Frontiers by The Corrs

(There really are heaps more, but i can't break the rules of the musical baton...can i?)

The very ~~unfortunate~~ lucky 5 'chosen ones' to whom i am passing the baton to:

Ty
Purple
Crazy CAt
Carol
kunstemaecker

Yo, don't hang on to the musical baton too long hor! Will get disqualified ok!! I wonder who started this ~~annoying~~ thing....nothing better to do come shower my dog lah!
BTW guys, if u get this musical baton thingy, means u kena sabo-ed (in singlish terms)

From the Bottom of my heart

2005-05-20T14:52:00.000+08:00

Speechless i am, but cry i promise myself i will not! Enough of yoda talk...I wanna say a big Thank You to all the people who have been so supportive of my previous 'vulgar' post. I thank you for ur understanding and empathy(and for some, support of my profanities). Now in ur language: gracias Carol, Bedankt to the unpronounceable Kunstemaecker and simply Thank You to Ty, Duckie, Crazy cat, purple, suspiciousbastard, Jiameei, agent x, knychai, miltobe ..forgive mua if i missed out anyone. Geez, i sound like i am receiving a Grammy Award or something..Alas, No i am not! I am pleased to announce that i have made peace with my computer, though the misery it had put me thru is NOT THOROUGHLY forgiven and will NEVER be forgotten.
As the saying goes: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

The reason behind the poem u will never get to read!

2005-05-18T19:33:00.000+08:00

The Wabbit advises that this post is rated (PG). Parental Guidance is highly recommended. It contains coarse language, sexual references and occasional violence. However, in view of her considerate nature (i hear vomitting in a distance, but let her finish first pls and u can vomit to ur hearts content) and the dubious nature her audience, Wabbit has opted to practice a certain degree of self-censorship using strike-throughs for words that are inappropriate in her opinion. Wabbit thanks you for your understanding and your loyal readership. Wabbit promises that she's not usually so uncouth.

'It won't happen to me....' how many times i regurgitated those very words and now i am forced to eat it! The ~~fucking~~ computer just hung on me ~~Knnbccb~~...it is not the hanging per se that is hair-jerkingly frustrating, it is the 800 words that it obliterated that i cannot stomach!!! No! it's not just words!!! Those 800 beautiful words were strung into this lovely LiL thing known as a poem (so lovely it was almost orgasmic)..that i thought was ~~fucking~~ ingenious ..now it's GONE, all gone. My one ~~fucking~~ attempt to be remotely poetic has been utterly dashed!!!!!!! And yes, it was impromptu...i will never be able to produce the same thing again! (even if i did, it wouldn't be/feel the same..nevermind that, i'm too lazy to reproduce it lah)

For those of you who have no appreciate of ur work (or for anything), u will not understand how i feel. To you, my frustrations are just unfounded and possibly even childish...oh yeah? well, ~~Fuck You~~! No, really..~~Fuck u~~! Let me rip apart the million-dollar proposal that u so spent so many painstaking hours preparing...so what if my poem is not going to fetch a million bucks. i don't give a flying ~~fuck~~ about money! I put in effort hor, not to mention it was brilliant (or so i thought)! arghhhhhhhhh.

I am so ~~fucking~~ pissed right now, i am going to smash the ~~mother fucker~~ with my equally irritating dog (who's running around me, rejoicing over my catastrophe...coz now i will be able to play catch with him...dream on canine!) I'll Kill two birds with one stone! OKay i'll spare the canine, for the canine brain is not sophisticated enough to realise wat's going on. But the computer? cutting-edge technology my arse! wat's ur excuse huh? why are u doing this to me u stupid,inane, incompetent, imbecilic,ludicrous machine! Of the preposterous amount of times u hang on me, i can overlook it, but why NOW, why THIS TIME?!!WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY? *black smoke emits from wabbit's long ears*

If you saw me now, i would be a vastly different picture of wat has been portrayed in this post. I am silently but vigoriously typing out the injustice against me. I can't possibly run around screaming profanities at a machine, tat'll be sufficient for anyone within a 5 mile vicinity to deem me 'insane'. The internet (and hence this blog) allows me to vent my angst without actually verbalising it. If u are dumb enough to judge me by my blog (like a very dumb person did! No names... but boy is she dumb!) then a very heartfelt ~~fuck you~~ to you too! In any case, who are we to judge another? Are we superior beings just coz we don't swear (be it in person or in this case, in cyberspace)? Dun be foolish lah, of coz u swear, just whether u wanna articulate it or not only mah! No?

Warning: Singlish-laden Post..May become dumber (i know lah, no such word lah..told u will become dumber liao) after reading it!

2005-05-17T14:02:00.000+08:00

*Drumroll*

*Tadah*

Enter Ty
(Ok, i'm not gonna use ur real name in case u wanna remain mysterious to the **chio bus lor! And next time, send me a BIGGER picture can anot huh?)

(this photo dun do him any justice! Or so he claims!!)

Ty's a cutie huh? Oei, he's not just a pretty boy lor, he's damn funnie ***one hor! Wat? did i hear MORE? ok... People studying for Masters degree in Ohio State University ok!(In USA , not Singapore lah u nitwit! Duh?!?). If u really must marry him..it's Mansfield campus (i think! Oops, sowie Ty..a tad too much info!! But if u get chicks flowing ur way like beer, remember it's me hor!!!! it's becoz of me hor, i dun care!!)

Why all the Singlish u ask...because, Ty is one of the rare people in the US of A (or rather the world) who actually wants to learn singlish lor! He thinks it's cool leh... so there u go Ty!!A deadly dose of Singlish... i might get thrown in jail for this ok (kidding , Kidding only lah..wah lau eh, chill!!!) I taking a huge risk for u here, Spore tryin to discourage singlish and here i am promoting it..siao liao lah. If anything happens to me call Bush to save my ass ok...tell the Singapore authorities u instigated me to do it! Yes, stop looking behind u..YOU!

Ok, enough bollocks... now for today's lesson. Word of the day is 'talking cock' (No, it ain't the cock u are thinking about, we don't talk to chickens!)
Compliments of talkingcock.com "TalkingCock.com aims to provide you with stories and features that are always tongue-in- in-cheek, sometimes foot-in-mouth, and most of the time, finger-in-nose."

According to Talkingcock.com:
TALKING COCK (v.) a local Singaporean term meaning either to talk nonsense or engage in idle banter.
- The Coxford Singlish Dictionary

I present u the Coxford Singlish Dictionary:

Brought to you by the
Society for the Preservation of Authentic Singlish (S.P.A.S.)

PRESERVE OUR SINGLISH HERITAGE!

What is Singlish?
Singlish is a unique blend of English and local (mostly) Hokkien, Malay and Tamil terms. Certain English words or phrases have also acquired local meanings which differ from their original meanings.

Why Should We Preserve Singlish?
Because it's authentically Singaporean. READ THE S.P.A.S. MANIFESTO!

What's the COXFORD SINGLISH DICTIONARY?
The CSD is, in our view, the most complete repository of Singlish and dialect phrases on the Web. We're sure you'll find phrases that have never been published elsewhere. There are over 500 entries and new phrases are constantly being added.

THE POW-KA-LEOW INDEX

Notes on Spelling and Pronunciation:

There is no consistent spelling for Singlish words, especially those originating from the Chinese dialects. We have tried to adopt a spelling which is both intuitive and which best approximates the way people pronounce the words. We apologize if our chosen spelling runs counter to the way you might believe the words should be spelled.

Oei Ty..so when u going to teach me ur slang yo? rite now i only understand sup and yo leh..not very fair rite? and u can actually use singlish back on me!!! pffffffft. Dunnnoe issit u fast learner or i good teacher..probably the latter lah!..And i am still waiting for u to tell me wat is Waskley? is that an American thing or am i just plain dumb? why everyone understand except me? damn it!

**Chio Bus= pretty girls (Bus is not pronounced as bus ok? it's plural! so read it as Bu-s ..ok ok i'll make it easy for ya..pronounce it as Booze!!There! )

***one does not literally refers to 1 but pronounced the same way. Usually used like this: 'Why u like that one?' DOn't ask me wat it means coz i DUN KNOW!!!perhaps the Coxford Singlish Dictionary can enlighten u!

Irritate the hell outta me!

2005-05-16T03:03:00.000+08:00

It’s unnerving how some people remind u of the past that u so desperately try to forget. I ran into a secondary school friend that I have lost touch with for 6 years, and I was flabbergasted that she remembered so much about me while I was desperately rampaging through my dormant long-term memory for her name. For starters, she caught my attention by shrieking my full name (yes, middle name and all) out down the long aisles of the supermarket, which was absolutely uncalled for.. I am not deaf. As she approached me, she repeated my name (once again the whole works and all) as if to reaffirm her suspicions about my identity. ‘Do u remember me?’ she screeched. ‘Sorry.. No, should I?’ I starred blankly at her. ‘Think!’ she commanded with both hands flying simultaneously to her hips, as if to imply I had no brains to think without being asked to. When I couldn’t produce a name after 2 awkward mins, she practically named everyone in my Secondary 4 class register. (some of which I didn’t even knew existed...apparently she’s not in tat register) It would be embarrassing at this point to reveal that I still can’t remember..i don’t wanna appear to be suffering from amnesia u know, but kudos to her for practically naming the entire school (she got my school rite, tats for sure!)

Amidst her incessant yodelling, one sentence jotted my memory... ‘Remember how we used to copy each other’s work blah..blah blah blah...’ Damn, now i remember..she was the one who copied my composition (use it as reference my ass!), turned it in as her own and got an A! I was in the next class (but we had the same English teacher) and ours was due a day later, when I turned in my composition, my teacher accused me of plagiarising her! She took credit for my work and I was penalised... In fact, if my memory serves me rite, she back-stabbed me a couple of times (over wat i don't remember) Bitch! No, I didn’t articulate that word.... coincidentally, she was more notoriously known as the school Bitch for the scandalous double-life that she allegedly led! Lets call her B (no pun intended..anyway her name starts with B). Is it just coincidence that it alliterates? ..Check this out: B...... the Bitch!

As if to re-establish some invisible bond with me, B embarked on an endless reminiscence of our adolescent days. The conversation was marred by a mass of superfluous details about me, B and every mutual friend she could possibly conceive. Frankly, I am not interested in wat B has to say, I take everything she says with a pinch of salt! I am going to spare u the superfluous details. Determined to shut her up, I grabbed a pair of wooden chopsticks off the shelf and impaled it through her throat..No, I didn’t but I wished I could! As she drone on, I drifted away.. I found myself studying the different brands of eggs in front of me with renewed interest.

For some people, secondary school days were their happiest days. Not me. (Don’t ask why, that’ll take another 5 post!) I was miserable then and B reminded me of the pain, albeit unintentional. When B finally took a breath, I saw my chance. ‘Hey look, it was nice seeing u here in Melbourne (Yeah rite!) but I really have to run now, my parking ticket is up..’ I flashed her my plastic smile (I wondered if it turned up as a sneer coz B seemed visibly upset)
‘But we have so much to catch up...we must meet up again!’ B insisted. Damn! Let it go girl!!! Arghhhhhhhhhh.... ‘Sure, my no. is ..... , i really gotto go, see ya’ (gave her a fake no. didn’t think I would have to do this to a girl, but B is irritating enough..she is like some duracell bunnie tat goes on and on and....on!)

I swear to God by the time she was done, I am convinced the whole supermarket knew my life story. She’s one of those attention-seeking, ‘try too hard’ , gossip too much, kind of girls who speaks (shouts?hmm..) a tad too loudly in public ..often accompanied by heaps of hand gestures. It’s no wonder I don’t (want to) remember her, the friendship between us (if any) is probably one-sided (on her part). Good riddance!

Wat it means to see Red

2005-05-15T02:34:00.000+08:00

It should not be startling to us that the colour red is a warning sign of the danger looming ahead? How do u explain that ambulance paint their letters in red! Sirens are in red! Warning signs are in red! Blood is red! Snow White's poison apple is red..u don't hear of a poisoned orange do ya? In my younger days, teachers happily draw massive circles in my workbooks to point out grammatical errors (amongst others)..yes in red! My report cards were mostly in red!(which gave me ample time to evade the catastrophic result of my parent's wrath..yup, i forge signatures, but i'm only good at theirs i promise! ur credit card info is safe with me!)The phrase 'seeing red' also implies danger right? some people kill when they are angry with u ...No? try telling ur wife/gf she is so fat u need to fantasize to perform and u may never live to comment on this post (even if u wanted to)

Alas, the most convincing argument, came from the traffic police. I had 3 (different) friends complain to me about speeding fines this week..why am i not surprise that they had more in common than just me, they all drive red cars. Only one is a sports car..the other two red cars (combined) has as much horsepower as my dog! I didn't think they were capable of speeding, their only possible crime was attention-seeking. I reckon if a red car and a white car were both speeding in the same direction, the attention will inevitably fall on the red one first,by virtue of its very color. I guess it ain't always good to be eye-catchin huh...contrary to the myth, i believe guys actually pick up more fines than they do girls with a red sports car. If u have a red sports car, u might as well surrender ur drivers licence together with ur bank account or u can simply put ur car on display. If u have a red (normal) car, u might as well speed, coz u'll be fined anyway.

(Oh look! the irony...a bank giving away a red sports car..knowing very well it will come right back to them when u can't afford to keep it no more. In this instance, the bank must be on first name basis with the traffic police...the bank is encouraging credit card application and/or expenditure..which of coz u will when u run out of cash to pay ur speeding fines.)

Disclaimer: This article is based solely on the author's opinion. It is not aimed at attacking any particular bank or (red sports)car.

DO u believe...in Fri the 13th?

2005-05-13T14:41:00.000+08:00

Today, i have decided to hibernate at home. Put away all my knives together with my suicidal thoughts. Hide under my blanket with my dog and try to psycho myself to sleep despite my rumbling stomach. The most audacious thing i did all day was turn on the computer and blog this...Erm, coz my PC is neither sleek nor aesthetically appealing (or functional for that matter! darn PC claims i perform an 'illegal operation' every 10 mins and shuts down all my windows...i figured if there was some truth in it, i might have been in jail by now) , as if that's not embarrassing enough... it weighs like a ton and looks hideously ancient..if the freaking machine don't crush me to death, i am convinced it would scare &/or embarrass me to death with it's appearance.

Yes, all this drama because today is the much dreaded Friday the 13th!!! Alleged to be damn unlucky...

Siao bo?!??! of coz not lah, it's because i have no life.....can anot? *sniff*

I wonder if this fri the 13th thingy is accurate...if lets say someone comes up with Wed the 15th, would everyone be on their toes all day and attribute every little incident (right down to the laksa stain on their white shirt) to be associated with a mere date????

The author would like to add as an afterthought: 'Though today is not the most auspicious day to post, i have to take the risk to blog today..and not wait till it 'tides over' tomorrow. Tomorrow it will no longer be Fri the 13th..and i may not survive a sudden surge of bad luck over and above the existing ones i am currently battling (and losing miserably, may i add). So why procrastinate? Don't blog tomorrow what u can blog about today!'

Help! I have just been robbed.

2005-05-12T14:27:00.000+08:00

I was wandering aimlessly through the shopping mall, trying very hard to remember why I was there in the first place. Little did I realise that this would soon be the least of my worries. Somewhere in the midst of a mental aberration, I found myself in a shop swarming with people. As luck would have it, I had rediscovered the purpose of my visit. I mean what are the odds of stumbling upon the shop that I had intended to visit out of 300 shops...or is it my subconscious that manipulated my feet to move in the right direction.... subconsciously?

Anyway, I took a seat and waited to be served and there she was in one obscure corner talking on the phone. After she terminated her call, she beckoned for me to go over. What was disconcerting was the way she looked... the arches of her eyebrows were drawn a little too high, giving her an ‘evil’ look, but she didn’t give me the feeling that she was threatening or even remotely kleptomaniac. Her name is Liz...sorry, can’t help starring at her (Huge) breast...erm I mean name-tag on her chest. What ensued was a blur...all I could remember was Liz disappearing into the office, only to re-emerge after 20 excruciating mins.... and that was when the realization struck me cold and hard... I had been robbed!!!

YES! I finally realised what I had done. I paid $900 for a one-way air-ticket from Melbourne to Singapore. (BTW u can get 2-way for $1200) That is like daylight robbery!!! Really! Liz somehow managed to hypnotise me into believing that their prices were actually competitive, and coerce me into signing on that dotted line...damn it! Can’t believe I fell for the oldest trick in their trade.. I didn’t even get to ‘shop around’ for a better price. In the span of 10 mins, she induced me to believe that seats are ‘going fast’ and there is no way I could get a better price unless I shipped myself back with my study table! (Which in the best case scenario would take 3 weeks, and shitloads of vomitting....not that I am contemplating that option.)

This is the first time I ever bought a one-way ticket and the last! (ALWAYS buy two-ways if u can help it guys!!) Liz robbed me in broad daylight, point-blank. Simple as that! And she gets away with a cheery ‘Have a great day, see ya soon’ (Didn’t she notice I bought a one-way ticket? Or is she just going thru the motion?) Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn if she was lying or not, but $900 for a one-way ticket is just robbery, Period!

Needless to say, I am almost certain that if I do not head back home with my eyes shut tightly I might just see a similar ticket going for $500. Sometimes God has an excellent sense of humour!! (If there is a GOD lar...yes! I am an agnostic but lets not go into the controversial God thingy) Don’t you find that right after u buy something (anything), we are bound to see it selling for cheaper elsewhere, even if u don’t make a conscious effort to notice, it will just kind of pop up in ur face as if to mock u. (or issit just me?)

My dog on the other hand, is having the time of his life bonking the brains out of my friend’s miniature poodle. I don’t think my dog realises that the miniature poodle is male (neither does he care), he just enjoys copulating anything he can lay his paws on. Well, at least someone is having a good day!

You can't do this to me!!!! NOoooooo!

2005-05-09T16:47:00.000+08:00

Like a heavy weight abruptly dropped onto your shoulders, I was compelled to take on the gruelling yet mandatory task of job-search last December when i graduated. Between last Dec and Now (uh-oh, May already ah??!!?), my confidence and self-esteem is gradually dissipating. Today, my confidence plummeted to an all new low compliments of the Straits Times
Interactive (Singapore's online newspaper..which i must now PAY for after reading it FREE all these time..scheming suckers! Had it planned all along!)

Anyway, the newspaper article is titled 'Some want a break first' May 9th 2005 ..

I quote the section responsible for the state of self-pity i have permitted myself to wallow in:

'A human resources executive in the leisure industry, who declined to be named, said if faced with the choice of hiring a fresh graduate, or one who had spent some time away, her
decision would depend on what the latter did during the break.

However, she thought that applicants who took breaks probably could not handle the stress from four years of studies, and she would worry about their ability to cope with work stress and job commitment.'

Utter Balderdash !! That is essentially saying, 'Don't hire ex-bummers, they can't handle stress tat's why they bum.' Which i predict would send us (read: bummers for a period of more than 4 months who has decided to actively look for a job) spiraling into a vicious cycle of rejections until one day 10 months down the road we are reduced to a bunch of vapid, discouraged (and
possibly delirious) individuals rampaging dustbins for food! Okay, I exaggerate, but u get the picture.

I also applaude her for her perfect timing , just when I intend to return to Singapore to seek employment, I become the hapless victim of her opinions in that fateful newspaper article (eh excuse me, national newspaper leh, everyone will read it lor!! Even those recruiters who
never even thought of that will start contemplating if there might be an infinitesimal chance that she may actually be right!!). Can't blame me for being ambivalent about going home. However, whoever made that comment was right to be discreet about her identity by 'declining to be named' coz i might just stone her to death if i knew who she was.(she probably saw that coming) *grin*

If she were to interview me, i surmise the following outcome:

Her: DO u have any experience in this field?
Me: Unfortunately No, but i am a keen learner.

Her: What is ur higest qualification?
Me: Masters Degree (Thinks to myself:' doesn't she read my resume? It is there for a purpose! Redundant qus)

Her: Where do u see yourself in 5 years time?
Me: In ur seat preferably.. (kidding! i'd never say that in reality coz i really want to be above her :P )

Her: Tell me about some of the things you been doing from the time u graduated till now?
Me: Bumming really...in Australia. (the whole truth and nothing but the truth...dumb huh!)

Her: Next! (*look of disgust* as i walk out the door)

She

2005-05-08T00:21:00.000+08:00

From the moment she set eyes on me, she knew she would have to love me, raise me, take care of me and give me the best for the rest of her life. She is a paragon of virtue who would never compromise her beliefs. Throughout my life, I have displayed countless imbecilic behaviour, been too conceited at times to mutter the words 'I'm sorry' and last but not least, I am often oblivious towards the sacrifices she makes for me disguised in the name of love. She lives a frugal lifestyle in exchange for the luxuries that I enjoy today. Her personal life has been subordinated to her career.

Behind that amiable facade, she's a deeply troubled and lonely person. The demands of her role in society and in the family has taken its toll on her, as a result, she allowed her social life to shrivel to an end. Loneliness is an issue she grapples with up till today, and my long period of absence by her side did nothing to alleviate her suffering.

She expend so much effort on me for so little return, and to think i could muster a 'thank you' to her only when i receive something in return. Even as she tries to imbue desirable qualities in me or the notion of a religion, I would often lapse into indolence. For all that, I am penitent. Though she displays no overt signs of her love for me, its existance is evident from the sacrifices she made for me, despite me taking her for granted on numerous occasions.

She is my mother.

It is unfortunate that someone as important,special and wonderful as my mum (or anybody's mum for that matter) is recognised and celebrated only once a year on Mother's day for their gift of life to us (amongst other things).

To my Mum who doesn't read my blog: Happy Mother's Day! No plethora of words can even begin to descibe my love for u...

To all the Mothers in the world: Happy Mother's DAy !(especially Auntie Monica)

Living each day like it were Yesterday...

2005-05-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning (okay!It's really evening!!)and found my TV starring blankly at me like it did yesterday, not responding to any buttons i punched! That sure pushed a button in me though... to deny me live visual coverage of the champions league semi-final 2 days in a role is just plain mean!! I have decided to teach it a lesson by smashin it with my guitar (whom i later realise is really the innocent party) ...

Oh well, I suppose I will have to do what I did Yesterday! Only this time, I'm rooting for AC Milan instead of Chelsea. BTW, I must make it clear that it happened that the 2 teams I like(AC Milan & Chelsea) are still in the Champions League (at least up till yesterday for Chelsea), I am not mental enough to pick one team to support for each soccer match that takes place! I would also like to say thank you to the people who bothered to leave comments in Yesterday's post and interestingly enough on this post as well, albeit mostly anonymous.

It probably doesn't take a clairvoyant to predict the outcome of today's match between AC Milan vs PSV Eindhoven, but the dutch champions are not to be under-estimated!
Hence i will be clenching my AC Milan scarf (coz i dun have their jersey, but lets hope i don't have to clench my teeth as well like i did last nite!) praying that they will defend their current 2-goal advantage! I realise that
my espousal of the idea that AC Milan will go on to win the Champions League is not going to make me very popular amongst Liverpool fans...but the talk of Liverpool taking the title remains ubiquitous. Whether today will be another eventful day for the bookmakers remains an open question....

Another sleepless nite for the Wabbit...It's 2.25 am now and i can't wake up if i sleep, hence my only solution is to stay awake till i become officially brain dead at 4.45 am (my time), my survival depends entirely on the life-support machine that i will be hooked up to (once again, this will be the scoreline) If u guys don't see any activity on my blog for the next few days u know wat happen!! (Erm, no ...i am not dead. Read: PSV eliminated AC Milan)

In the middle of the night.....or should i say early in the morning??

2005-05-04T03:06:00.000+08:00

WARNING: 1000 words ahead!!

After all, a picture is worth a thousand words...I didn't exactly cheat ur feelings did I? Dun worry though, I'll start using actual words when my brain decides to function again. Right now, I'm stoned!!!! NO, I AM NOT ON DRUGS U IDIOT! I am waiting for the Chelsea vs Liverpool match to start (because I support Chelsea, not becoz I bet my entire family fortune of $50 on it!!!), it's 5.15 am over on my side, my darn TV broke down on me so I had to sit in front of the PC at this unearthly hour looking at numbers (the score)...u go figure out why I am stoned!!

MAtch starts!

To exacerbate my current predicament,the number on live score just changed in favour of liverpool with L.Garcia scoring in the 4th min!!!Damn it...can't they give Chelsea time to like warm up first? Watever it is, it sure unstoned (if there's such a word) me!! Liverpool fans are chanting 'Easy!Easy!' according to the eurosport commentary (online)..how quickly joy turns to arrogance!!!I'm not going to do a live commentary here, tat's probably BBC's job...I'm gonna take out my pong pong and straw skirt to cheer Chelsea on..or perhaps wearing their jersey may change the scoreline?? Blah...watever!! i'll just do all of the above!

Cheers...blog later!

Do not seek praise...seek criticism

2005-05-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

How often do u get people come up to u and ask u:' Do u like my new dress/car/bag/recipe??'..yada yada yada. ANd wat kind of answers do u normally give? I guess it is the social norm to reply in the affirmative, since it is only polite to do so. Is that a display of superior upbringing (due to ur 'good' manners not to say anything negative to 'offend' anyone) or simply lying blatently in one's face?

My gal friend changed into this bright lime-green dress she bought for a function and asked me the dreaded question. Innocently, gave her my honest opinion...'Really dear, i do hope that was intended for halloween coz u look ...erm, absolutely greenish! Though i must say that if u intended to get guys' attention with that little number, you've got it alrite!' she started prancing infront of the mirror, fluttering about like an agitated bird for a full 5 mins before she muttered her next words which were anything but convincing...'But i think i look slim in green, and it illuminates my face so i dun look so dull and boring, rite?' Okay, whatever, i give up! I decided to stroke her ego and boost her self-esteem by taking the easy way out....'i guess u have a point there, what matters is that u feel good in that dress!' My instinct (and u should never question a woman's instinct mind u!!)tells me that she's hurt by my frankness, albeit atoning for my mistake with my second comment.

I am not about to disagree with her and have her go ballistic on me! But i must confess that her opinion is completely antithesis of mine. Firstly, if u wanna reduce the look of unsightly bulges as a result of over-indulgence, try black or dark colours...bright green??? Tat's just beyond me! Secondly, if u wanna illuminate ur face, u may want to consider this wonderful thing commonly known as makeup (particularly blusher or some bronze foundation for a sun-kissed look). Once again, the idea of a green dress illuminating her face is beyond me....she looks more ghastly with that 'green glow' to be brutally honest! Actually, i think my fren would have thought of that,it seems more like she was reassuring herself than anything else. What's worse than lying to urself?? Absolutely nothing!

So the Wabbit is blunt, but isn't it better to hear the truth than to flash her a fake plastic smile and tell her how gorgeous she looks? WHy ask if u can't take the truth?

It is quite easy to get approval if we ask enough people, or if we ask those who are likely to tell us what we want to hear. The likelihood is that they will say nice things rather than be too critical. Also, people tend to edit out the bad so that they only hear what they want to hear. Lets say u have produced a pleasantly acceptable piece of work, u will have proved to urself that it's good simply becoz others have said so...chances are it's probably ok, not probably not great either.

If, instead of seeking approval, u ask,'What's wrong with it? How can i make it better?', you are more likely to get a truthful, critical answer..or even an improvement on ur idea. AND u will still be in a position to reject the criticism if u think it's wrong. No?

Sore Loser

2005-05-02T16:56:00.000+08:00

It really should not come as a startling revelation that when u sell something, you haggle over the price of that item. I exchanged afew emails with this one prospective buyer who requested pictures of my Ikea glass table (...if the word IKEA actually means anything to u, if not, i think IKEA needs to re-strategize and pump more money into brand building!!), measurements, blah blah blah. I bought my lovely table for Aus$300 (ok, so i am basically paying for the brand and design). I am selling it for a reasonable $110. This guy offered me $75...i haggled with him (over email) till he succumbed to a final offer of $100....

SO wat the hell is my problem? Tapping ur feet impatiently, you wonder: $100 is only $10 short of ur askin price, is there no room for negotiations? Well, it is not the price per se that i am unhappy with, it is his reply to me (via email of coz..the coward!) that really puts me off. For lack of a more appropriate term, I'll address him Sore Loser... (I assume he lost to me in terms of bargaining becoz his want for my table far superceded his need to maintain his bottom line in this particular bargining exercise!)Here's a sniplet of his latest email reply to me that earned him the epithet of 'Sore Loser' , punctuation for punctuation:

Sore Loser: 'ok... we'll make it $100 and thats it! a nice even number! and ill take
it off your hands! you can even choose whether you want a 100 bill or 2
50's - how about that!!'

Notice the number of exclamation marks he used???!!?? (i'll highlight it in bold to make it more identifiable for u guys). Additionally, that last sentence sounded damn sarcastic to me, typical response of a sore loser...NO? I'd love to spew some vulgarities at this point of time, but i didn't coz the sore loser can't hear me anyway.

You may think i am being sensitive, or perhaps i am...i'm not goin to make excuses for myself. Look at this objectively, doesn't he sound just a tad rude?? Not even a teenie weenie bit? If ur answer is No, congratulations! You are well on ur way to losing friends, compliments of ur 'superb' interpersonal/communication skills or rather the lack of it!

Imagine this scenario: you are project manager of Co. A, u close a deal with project manager of Co. B, much to ur disadvantage (but u had no choice coz ur Co. will collapse without the deal, okay i exaggerate! but u get the message.).. u seal the deal with a firm (the kind that stops bloodflow to ur hands!)handshake and u sneer:' FIne! we have a deal for $X million, but that's it! i'll even deliver the darn contract to your office after it's signed by the board of directors, How's that!!!! You can even choose between payment in cash immeditely or upon completion of each stage of the project!! hows that!! (of coz in reality no one will pay cash upfront like tat...anyway this guy from Co. A is sooooo going to get fired for his attitude!) pffffffft, hows that for closing a deal! Take it from the sore loser (in negotiation)....!

Whatever it is, i am fully aware that i do not need to sell him my table if i am so unhappy with his attitude...after all, there is demand for my table! But it's such unfortunate incidents that reminds me that price is not everything in haggling. If he had a good attitude & played his cards right, i may have been willing to settle for less than $100. Why didn't he (the sore loser) see that?

Learning in Progress: Part 2

2005-04-30T21:10:00.000+08:00

Today I discovered that playing chords can be a little painful. (I mean for me, not for the people within earshot! Don’t be callous!!!!) Fretting a guitar string, felt as if I was hammering a railroad spike with my bare hands. (Ouch!) In short, pressing down the string hurts. This should probably not come as a surprise for beginning guitarists like me. I suppose I must develop nice thick calluses on my fingertips before playing the guitar can ever feel completely comfortable. Somehow I had an ominous feeling that after I finally earn my calluses, I will never lose them (not completely anyway). Even typing out this blog causes my fingers to scream in protest. Oh well, building up calluses takes time, and u can’t hurry time (or love for that matter, as Diana Ross would attest). Maybe tomorrow I will try to string the notes I learned today into something meaningful, otherwise known as music...or maybe the day after tomorrow, or maybe........... My Gawd, what am I doing???????? Never in my wildest dream would I think that calluses could actually lead to procrastination!!

P/S: Thanks Terrakat for the website u provided me, without which I would have resigned myself to the fact that I can never make music out of strings!!!

Since I can’t type anymore (or so my paws insists!!), I shall compensate u guys with a Dilbert comic strip compliments of Scott Adams

Learning in Progress: Part 1

2005-04-29T20:48:00.000+08:00

After days of looking like this:

What i do all day...everyday!!

I've had it! I decided to pick up where i left off on my guitar. You see i am teaching myself how to play the guitar...unfortunately, i am often deflated by the comment:' Can u even read notes?' How encouraging my friends are (this is what i call a backhand compliment in case u don't get it!!)

The answer is NO!! the Wabbit can't read notes. But i did study music when i was young and the ability to read notes has been comfortably tucked away in my long-term memory (suspected rotting there too!) and there's no way i can retrieve it without datamining software. However, i do not agree that this will impede my ability to learn (guitar) Repeat after me: You do not need to read music to play the guitar. Chant this mantra until u believe it....truth is, many great guitarist don't know how to read music, and many who can learned after they learned to play the guitar! No?

However, one of the greatest injustices of life is that before i can even play music on the guitar, i must endure the painstaking process of getting the darn instrument in tune! This is vexingly difficult to master for me since i do not own a tuning fork, piano, pitch pipe or electronic tuner......yes! just about everything u need to tune a guitar, i DON'T have it! A wonderful start indeed...but the wabbit shall persevere!!! After all, even Elvis Presley, whose guitar prowess may not have exceeded 5 chords, still used the guitar effectively on stage as a prop didn't he (though i bet he didn't have to tune his guitar himself, unlike the poor wabbit)????

Pictures of the Wabbit??Oh Alrite!!!!! SHut up already!

2005-04-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

McWabbit

Voila...pictures to spice up the site as requested ...though i must say my choice of pic (largely becoz i am in it!! or rather part of it , however minuscule) is really going to cause my site traffic to plummet to a new low! Happy????huh? happy now?????

And before u start wondering...NO, i am not advertising fer McDonalds, and McWabbit is NOT a drink! This is the result of a fruitless attempt to shy away from my fren's digicam....perhaps McDonalds should come up with a line of EXTRA LARGE beverages so the cup can actually be big enuff to hide my face!

Hate McDonalds, makes me fat, darn happy meals dun even make me happy pfffffft...everytime i have a guilt-ridden meal, i will go home and pray religiously!

God hear my prayer!!! NOW!

I'm Not THAT crazy can???

2005-04-25T19:17:00.000+08:00

Ok guys, lets make things clear here. SO i am talking to my dog...still thats no reason to take advantage of my unstable state of mind rite??? I am selling my things and moving back to my home country...my fren asked me on msn if i have an ipod for sale... he is willing to offer me a generous $10 for it *guffaw* (if i have one)...For Christsake, like i told him- firstly i dun have one, secondly if i do i will not sell it for $10...might as well call it daylight robbery...my discman can fetch a more decent price than that rite??? OK, so i am no tech-freak and possibly agoraphobic , but i am not that ill-informed and most certainly not THAT crazy rite? On account of our friendship i shall not name u..but i bet as u are reading this ur best defense would be ' i was only kidding...' I am not being sensitive here, just want the world to know my piteous state (caused by u know who u r!!!) Boohooohooo...*sniff*

Ok, enough self-pity!... Lets hope my 22 inch TV sells for more than $20!!!!!! despite the fact that u can vaguely make out afew paw prints if u were to scrutinise it under a magnifying glass (Compliments of my dog who got all ecstatic when he spotted his 'twin' who allegedly abandoned him in the pet shop and ran away to Doggiewood and made a name for itself as an endorser for Pedigree). And as for my Queen size bed, i wanna remind prospective buyers that much to ur disbelief, the darn springs inside the bed costs more than $5 each...just becoz i spend a huge part of my day on it (everyday) doesn't make it any less of a bed, ipso facto, that is not a basis for price negotiation pls! Sometimes people make me ridiculous offers, how do these people go to bed at nite anyway ??? I mean to have no conscience is one thing, but to sleep on a cheap bed is another (comfortable meh? if i really sell u my Queen bed for $20 must be something wrong with it rite???how to sleep well at nite with that thought in mind? Dun mean to get under ur skin but $20 will buy u an old verminous mattress, Yuck! ..... might as well buy from me at higher price and feel better psychologically, after all u get both quality and peace of mind!!! No?)

Life...or rather the lack of one!

2005-04-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

YOu know u have no life when u blog everyday (especially on Sat)...even more so when u have nothing to blog about. Perhaps i have unwittingly succumbed to agoraphobia. My school days were the happiest days of my life, which should give u guys some indication of the misery i've endured over the past 25 years....

When u attempt to start a conversation with ur dog and reply on its behalf, u know u've lost it! There u go my frens, my shortest post ever on this blog is at the expense of my sanity...Enjoy it while it last.

Change is Good for Christsake!!!!! Change ur mindset would you?

2005-04-23T14:18:00.000+08:00

Does the inertia to change move in direct proportion to one's age and/or primeval existance? I noticed that the older generation seem to some hopelessly antediluvian ideas about the notion of change*. Be it relocating to another country, a new home, or adopting new approach/way of dealing with things in their everyday lives...the idea of moving away from accepted social norms appears to be virtually inconceivable. Ironically, isn't the ability to change and adapt a key differentiator between humans and animals? I believe we are born with the ability to change and adapt to foreign environment/ circumstances (both physically and mentally). Contrary to my parents' belief, i will not DIE without aircon, conversely i will also not DIE needlessly of hypothermia in winter if i wear one less jacket. It's all a matter of want versus need...do i need aircon in humid weather? NO! Do i want aircon? Hell, Yes!!!

Digressing, i was just pondering....... my Gawd, how do children grow up amidst all that protection? It's almost suffocating if u ask me, then again, it's a thin line between concern and over-protection ain't it? There is always 2 sides to a coin and everyone wants to believe they are right....No wonder kids nowadays are so weak and dependent, crying when they fall down and even attempting to faint if they so much as see a hint of blood...all these drama for attention is really just beyond me! Our quest for nurturing promising, strong combat-ready MEN (for our country in times of war, tat is! not for gang fights..but it is funnie how guys appear more 'brave & fearless' in the latter than the former...) is fast facing extinction. I say we should be happy if they can protect themselves against snatch-thieves.. What about my parents u ask?? Well, though i am the only child, i vaguely remember being smacked over the head when i fall down as a child, accompanied by my mum's reminder on how stupid i am to walk with my eyes closed!...kidding, but it's along those lines! really!!
(Disclaimer: i am only referring to some men from my country, nevermind where that is, there are always exceptions nevertheless! Additionally, i am referring to no one in particular!!! Alas, if u thinking tat far u are getting sensitive.)

Back to the topic......Isn't it true that the soft-minded man (i use the term 'man' loosely) always fears change. He/she seeks security in the status quo, and has an almost morbid fear of the new. For him/her, the greatest pain is the pain of a new idea..how ironic is that???? Put it into context and it would make some sense..imagine asking ur parents to migrate to a foreign countryfor all the right reasons...they would be listing out 10 disadvantages to do that faster than u can say 'BUt.....' Using the same logic, would we be able to discover new ideas, inventions..watever...without experimenting and treading new territories? (At this point, i thank God we already have lights, electricity, telephone..and the likes!) Recently an acquaintance in a restaurant disclose in a casual conversation that he has eaten at that restaurant for 10 years (like almost every day)....i almost fainted! But to faint with food in my mouth could possibly lead to the blockage of the ooesophagus, spells death to me! For that reason (and no other may i add!!), i continued eating....trying very hard to hide my disbelief. The poor guy, why subject himself to such torture? there are only so many things in life that u can enjoy on a daily basis and food is one of them...He is not young anymore mind u...looks like he is in his late fourties or early fifties. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from screaming 'Change, damn it !!!! it's not too late to be penitent !!' Regardless of how convenient it is for him to eat there, doesn't he crave variety (as in different restaurant, not a different item on the menu.. Heck 10 yrs is enough for u to eat everything on the menu 100 times over....) Or maybe he really resents change so much as to dismiss the idea altogether???

Whats wrong with moving out of our comfort zone? Is it that threatening to us that we will not even allow that thought to sprout in our well-organised brain? Is the concept of familarity so comforting? I say that is a sign of just how insecure we really are!

The younger generation however, are more willing to embrace changes (there are exceptions depending on how u r brought up), from there they learn and grow along the way, enriching their life experiences and collecting gainful exposure along the bumpy way...Yes,the Wabbit is an evangelist of change, i welcome them with open arms and u should too (ok , maybe not as enthusiatically, but be open to the idea at least...)

*Change in this case refers to constructive change, not unfounded ones like changing ur $10,000 wardrobe or ur year old Mercedes purely for variety-seeking purposes!

p/s: it is apparent from this post that i have decided to dismiss my frens' suggestion that my posts are too long...live with it or CHANGE can anot??? huh? huh?

Wat do u mean too Long?? I would be happy if i were a guy but i AM NOT!

2005-04-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

My frens only read my blog at night when they have insomnia coz they claim (operative word here is claim!!!!) that my blogs are so long they call it a book...are they really long and dreary? are they really? huh? huh?? *sniff* Imagine typing a miserable 2 sentence blog that basically translates to 'Hi and Goodbye Everyone'..... Does that interest u??? Did u really search high and low for entertainment from blogger to be satiated with a couple of sentences about how someone have nothing to blog about today, hinting for u to check back in a weeks' time when they believe some life-altering event will occur???!!?? As if.............

Of coz must be reasonably long lar!!!Duh!! Aren't we all more long-winded online (and only online in my case pls!!!!!!) than in real life?? Why u ask....Hmm let's see......Becoz people in virtual communities use words and screens to exchange pleasantaries & argue, engage in intellectual discourse, conduct commerce, exchange knowledge, share emotional support, make plans, brainstorm, gossip, feud, fall in love, find friends and lose them, play games, flirt, create a little high art & hell alot of idle talk......

Story of everyone....

2005-04-19T17:38:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone, thought i will share this story with u guys, heard it sometime back but still can relate to it....Enjoy!

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples, and took a nap under the shadow. He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.

Time went by. The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy. "I am no longer a kid, I don't play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them." "Sorry, but I don't have money but you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money."

The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.

One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me," the tree said. "I don't have time to play. I have to work for family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?" "Sorry, but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.

One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said. "I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?" "Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy. But I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you." the tree said. "I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more trunk for you to climb on" "I am too old for that now" the boy said. "I really can't give you anything. The only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. "I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied.

"Good! Old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. Come, sit down with me and rest." The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears.

This is a story of everyone. The tree is our parent. When we were young, we loved to play with Mom and Dad. When we grew up, we left them. Only came to them when we needed something or when we were in trouble. No matter what, parents will always be there and give everything they can to make you happy. You may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that's how most of us are treat our parents.

You would think....

2005-04-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

You would think that after living in a country for 4 yrs 4 months and 12 days u have seen it all. Today, i stand corrected! I started out for the beach with high spirits only to be dampened by the sight of the public toilet i just had to visit before heading towards the sea. Though the sight if an overflowing basin filled to the brim with an unsightly mix of sand, tissue and water would be enough to thwart any idea of a meal in the near future, the contents in the toilet bowl were the most disconcerting... (Warning: pls do not continue reading if u are about to have a meal within the next hr or so, if however u are on a diet here's another reason to support ur cause!) The contents had gradually begun to ferment into an unidentifiable mush and had finally coagualted into a vague sense of nausea at the back of my throat.
Can't get worse? There's more......Lets see there was the toilet paper that came out from a automated paper dispenser with the press of a button at the speed of 1 rectangular pathetic square per Freaking min, floor that permits u to literally glide from the door to the toilet bowl (no brakes of coz, if u have no roller-blading skill too, u are more likely than not to find urself heading at 20km/hr towards the toilet bowl...Yes! Head in!!!) Ok i shall spare u guys the superfluous bits of information. I was on the verge of passing out from what i had seen when suddenly a powerful stench overcame my nostils like a tsunami, literally killing every living cell in my lungs.
No cubicle wall is thin enough to deter me from spitting out a litany of expletives. I attempting to jam my hand between the automated toilet door closing slowly behind me....as usual my reflexes don't work too well when i am hyperventilating. I was trapped in this disgusting, nauseating cubical the locals call a public toilet... I decided it took more effort for me to 'blade' over to the 'open door' button than to take off my shorts and do whatever i was there to do in record speed .....why in record speed u ask?? Becoz in addition to the horrible stench that is powerful enough to stifle me to death, the darn toilet door is programmed to opened automatically in 10 mins...yup, a perfectly understandable move since i reckon anyone would have fainted under these harsh conditions in just 2 mins...wat i didn't understand is why 10 mins? so long?? IS our threshold for toleration so high or are the management in denial of the state of the toilet's cleanliness??? (After my ordeal, my fren was more interested in knowing how 10 mins would be enough for someone planning to shit inside....i was thinking in my mind...quite frankly, anyone stupid enough to decide to shit after seeing that toilet deserves to pass out from embarrassment if the door should open before he/she is done. And also that person obviously needs to drink more water or eat more fruits if it takes u 10 mins to do ur biz- DESPITE the condition of the toilet..Finally, that person should get an endurance award for staying in there for more than 10 mins and make it out ALIVE!)
When i finally got out of that hell-hole after wat seemed like ages (a whole 1 min i spent in there believe it or not!!!!), i was kind of expecting a tumultuous applause and a standing ovation for making it out alive...once again, that did not happen...Oh well, i'm glad i made it out alive!

Where is the love?

2005-04-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

Love...inconvenient, consuming, overwhelming, 'can't live/breathe/eat without u' love....does it exist? In a world free from imperfections, YES! In this life...Dream ON!!...It's time to wake up now..back to 'i'm too consumed with myself to care about others' era. Yes, we are all narcissist!My proposition stems from the fact that people love themselves more than they love anyone else in the world...live in denial if u like but it's true in my opinion, i mean after all u can't love another unless u love urself first right??? It took me a really long time to get over my fantasy of finding everlasting, overwhelming, unconditional love..then i realised i had it all along ... i had my love for myself and my parent's love (which is often abused, taken for granted and overlooked). Why look for such perfection when u will never find? and if u do find the perfect partner...why would that person love u back if he/she is so darn perfect, given the general assumption that humans are inperfect and flawed by the very nature of their definition? Is pulchritude a pre-requisite for love???

In a phantasmagorical tumble in between love episodes, we will one day succumb to the brutal reality that our love adventures are far from the makings of a good Hollywood Script (read: sex and the city) or reality TV shows (which i feel is hardly ever real anymore when u dangle money as an incentive), albeit the drama that unfolds before us occasionally that bears uncanny resemblance to characters on TV. Having said that, the realisation struck me that i am the only one capable of giving myself the love that i yearn for all my life. However, i must admit that i am guilty of indulging in the occasional fantansy that someone will sweep me off my feet...and that fantansy makes my life a little less ordinary and mundane even if it's a delusion and greatly departs from the realist that i am.

I guess the power to dream and to hope for things beyond reach does keep some of us going..it represents an outlet for the frustration & disappointment from underachievement, underappreciation by those we love and those from whom we seek approval, and in my case especially, it gives me hope for tomorrow, a reason to wake up in the morning and sleep at night. Dreams, fantasy, hope and often denial, can help me maintain my sanity, ease periods of unbearable mental tolerance and above all, the reason to live on for the dream of a better tomorrow.

The verdict? Be one with yourself ... Be loved! Dare to dream but inject a dosage of realism where possible to avoid unreasonable expectations. Setting expectations well beyond reach and outside of one's ability will only add to frustrations, exacerbating the situation. To make matters worse, we expect the people we love to live up to our expectations (failing which inevitably results in disappointment, admit it or not) that are by no means yardsticks for performance or ideal behavioural patterns. I preach, but like many, i am often lacking in terms of deliverance..but i try my best and that's really all that matters........................or is it?

A State of Delusion or self-realization???

2005-04-12T09:55:00.000+08:00

Before i begin, i must let u guys know that u took this out of my now inactive xanga blog which some of u may have read before. Effectively i am plagiarising (Myself, that is!!) BUt i wanna let my fren (AND everyone reading this of coz!) know that everyone hurts sometime and it's ok to feel that way....

I’ve sat on the tram (or MRT/Train/Tube depending on which country u come from) late at night being shuttled between the ends of the line having no energy or motivation to find my station. I’ve woken in the morning to what seemed like an endless space next to me, feeling that the universe has cracked into a million discordant pieces. I’ve seen some of my strong gorgeous friends fall into a life lived with hurt and contempt. I’ve sat in cafés and meetings and hated the world for being so carefree, for having the cheek to get on with life. And through all this sadness, hurt, confusion and drama, there is hope. Life gets better. I got better, my friends got better. And you will get better.
For now though, don't be hurting. Well, at least don't focus on it. Accept what's happened, if only because you can't change it. Take some comfort that this experience gives you texture, puts iron and compassion in your soul.

Chelsea vs Birmingham City

2005-04-10T01:30:00.000+08:00

Absolutely Livid!!! Arghhhhhhh!

I sped home in record speed to pen down my displeasure...
I just went to a pub to watch a soccer match between Chelsea & Birmingham which ended in an uneventful 1-1 draw. Now why am i seething with indignation?

Is it becoz Chelsea (the team i support) did not win but only managed a draw?
No! judging from their performance in this occasion, i am surprised they even managed to draw... I believe it's a gd wake up call to snap Chelsea out of complacency. In fact, the only ones playing well in my opinion were Joe Cole, John Terry and Gudjohnson (ok, maybe even Huth in the last mins)

Is it becoz i am having PMS?
It's likely, but i hardly think so ... given the circumstances at the pub i believed my PMS (if any!) might have be induced.

What the hell is it then??? Get to the point already!
OK...It's the darn Birmingham supporters (or rather non-supporters of Chelsea but not necessarily Birmingham supporters?? whichever, i will never know now since they are all dead!....kidding!) Well i arrived early enuff to secure the best seat in the house, but God (in an attempt to be fair...) decided to place a bunch of irritating 'Birmingham Supporters' behind me. When i say bunch it is an understatement, with a ratio of 2:50 (2 referring to my group- if u can call a party of 2 a group!)... it's hardly fair! For lack of a better word, i shall refer to them as the irritants from henceforth!!! (which is really nice of me.....i should be using profanities at them considering the discomfort they caused me all nite! After all, i came first didn't i?)
How lucky i am to be surrounded by a bunch of loud-mouth 'Birmingham supporters', i mean wat are the bloody odds ... u would expect more Chelsea supporters to flock to a small suburban pub in Melbourne but instead..pfffft, tat is just beyond me! Anyway, to each its own.
The Irritants are so named becoz they would cheer everytime Birmingham takes a shot (obviously whether the darn shot was on or off target is irrelevant here those guys are spastic!!) and jeer when Chelsea makes a bad tackle (no pun intended)...causing such a commotion i could've easily mistaken it for an earthquake registering 7 on the Richter Scale had i not known better!! And Yes! as luck would have it, Birmingham scored first!!! how irritating is that! SInce then, everytime the referee argue with a Birmingham player regarding a questionable decision, i secretly willed with all my might that the player (of Birmingham of coz!) will punch the referee and get sent off....of coz that did not happen! I kind of beginning to think that with the kind of support Birmingham had in the pub (yup, all the way in Australia!!!!), i think they might even be able to win EPL had they (Birmingham) witnessed this phenomenal sight...pffffffttt

I desperately wanted Chelsea to equalise so i have a reason to cheer... i took it out on the straw by chewing it with such vigor i am pretty sure i will need braces after the match ended..but i am too preoccupied to think abt that now....Occasionally, the camera-man decided to give 5 secs of attention to Jose Mourinho (Chelsea's manager) , and i found myself starring into a mirror...Jose is chewing gum with as much vigor as i was chewing my straw. If i hadn't known better i would've thought he has bad breath (always see him chewing gum!!)

One of the guys (Yes! a member of the Irritant grp!!) was making so many comments on how lousy chelsea is and how wonderful Birmingham is...and i can't ignore him coz he is sitting directly behind me..and he is much clearer than the match commentator!! I snapped! Taking out my swiss army knife, i armed it and walked towards him...wat i am about to type next is not for the weak-hearted!! I stabbed him numerous times on the head till blood oozed from his throat and after afew mins of futile struggling, he lay lifeless on the floor (apparently dead) while his frens were scared speechless at wat i did, and yes they fled as any good frens would do.....
Alas.......No, i did not stab him.... but hell i wished i did, except that i don't own a swiss army knife..pity!

Finally my big break came, CHELSEA EQUALISES!!! Yeah! the irritants were instantly silenced with no effort on my part! I mumbled a silent pray, for that goal was the best thing tat happened all nite (though i must admit Chelsea was lucky to equalise, i was kinda praying against a 2-0 result and not leaning towards a 1-1)

Good Riddance, I feel much better already after typing it out.... next time i shall go to Stamford Bridge (Chelsea's home stadium) to watch a match!!!!

Good nite everyone!

A simple Life

2005-04-08T18:55:00.000+08:00

Today i asked my best friend in the whole wide world:' Ras, what makes u happy?'

Still tucking into his lunch, Ras was reluctant to entertain my question forcing me to sweep his bowl behind me faster than he can pounce on me in protest 'No!!!!'

He answered nonchalantly 'Lets see, i will be happy if i can play ball with my frens in the park, stroll along the beach, eat (his eyes strayed to the bowl peeking out from behind my back) , sleep, have a shelter over my head...' ah..the simple pleasures of life. I began to wonder how simple my dog's life is and how complicated ours are...are humans more complicated because we are never satisfied with what we have? or becoz we dun appreciate the simple things in life tat we take for granted? I mean how often do u wake up everyday and wonder if our lights will be on with a flick of the switch or if water will flow when we turn on the tap? no, really...how often? Doubt any of us do...not unless we live in a third world country (where i suppose seeing clean water flow from the tap is nothing short of a miracle!)

Ok u must be thinking...how the hell i know that's wat my dog Ras is thinking. Gasp! it just occurred to me that we've been using telepathy all these while and we understood each other perfectly!!! Hell, i might even be psychic...haha!
SO wat is my point? well i was overcomed with the feeling that we may be more fortunate than we realise in today's materialistic world. I was on msn with a fren today and she was lamenting about how sad, upset, stress..yadda yadda....well she named just about every depressing word there is to describe her plight, i figured it would be easier to come up with one word i have never heard her use before in a long time...may i introduce to u a new word in the dictionary 'Happy'
I can almost hear people muttering 'New word u say?? i thought i heard of that word somewhere before but i can't quite place my finger on it...wat does it mean anyway?' SEE! see wat i mean, people dun know wat happiness means anymore, they complicate their lives and wat is left are feelings of sadness, hopelessness, anger, hatred and unhappiness.

So wat is my fren upset about? To cut the story short, here is a sniplet of our conversation (names are changed to protect her identity- if she still has one that is..) there are also some unnecessary bits left out....

Me: How r u?
Friend: not good
Friend: becos Co. A make a big fuss when i decided not to work for them as promised.
Me says: wat??? then how?
Friend says: Worst still, one of my company division has dealing with Co. A, and Co. A indirectly implies that if i don't cross over they will not have any business transaction with that division of my company.
Me: how unprofessional
Friend: As much as my current company would want me to stay on, but i am feeling bad
Me: wat is there to feel bad about? thats life !!! u need to be tough sometimes u have done nothing wrong just perhaps make a commitment too soon. they will get over u dun worry give them a million dollar deal and they'll forget u in a jiffy
Friend: I just worried that this matter will affect the management's perception and impression on me
Me:well like i say, that is ur mistake...admit u made a mistake and move on with ur life...it issen even a big mistake...at least u learn a lesson out of it...that u r undecisive! sorry for being blunt!
Friend:i feel like such a failure
Me: over wat? the whole job thing?
Friend: yes
Me: did u lose a million dollars on a biz venture? did u try to save ur children from an earthquake and failed? did u perform surgery on others and failed to save them? if not, wat failure is there? u probably dun even understand wat FAILURE feels like
Friend:Maybe i should look on a bright side and stop being pessimistic
Me: Of coz...small things like tat u say u r a failure, people in africa watching their love ones starve to death yet can do nothing about it still optimistic they will have food tomorrow. u should be ashamed
Friend:that why i like talking to you becos you talk sense into me
Me: i like talking to myself also
(After an agonising 5 mins of awkward inactivity on my screen..i decided to add...)
Me: Kidding , I am not that mad!

My fren is very pessimistic indeed ..it's gonna take more than that for me to deem myself a failure. She sounded as if she was on the edge of an abyss. Ras (my dog if u dun realise it by now) has taught me many lessons in life, apart from the fact that canines respond positively to classical conditioning, most importantly Ras taught me how to appreciate the little things in life...the trivia of everyday life that may seem insignificant in our relentless pursuit of happiness (watever that word may mean for u, for some happiness and wealth/fame/love/status/religion are the same thing..) Appreciate what u have, and suddenly wat u do not have will not seem so significant in comparison...Appreciate life, dun let small things take happiness away from u my frens coz everyone deserves to be happy.

Worse place to fart??

2005-04-06T18:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i dragged my lazy arse to the gym after a long recess by convincing myself that the treadmill is the best thing since sliced bread...amazingly it worked (never mind wat imagery i used, but it was somewhere along the lines of sweaty, muscular cute guys!!My Gawd, i can't believe i typed this out...dun tell alex shhhhh!) Anyway, i was kinda doing a slow jog on the treadmill, after 5 mins, a guy intruded my privacy and took his place on the treadmill to the left of me (btw from henceforth i shall abbreviate treadmill to just TM coz it is too troublesome to type it out in full)...he was walking leisurely while i was breathing heavily which irritated me enough for me to sneak a peak at his speed. Damn it! he is like doing 8.8 km/hr and WALKING while i am doing 8 km/hr and JOGGING...oh yah...talk about fairness! pffffftt..i attributed the advantage he had over me to his long legs. And as if i was not irritated enough that i would inadvertently be reminded of my height for the next 45 mins (set the time on TM to 45 mins), some equally long-legged, muscular creature (aka a woman, if u must know the gender!) took control of the TM on my right! God must hate me, thats why he is sending tall people to mock me and ridicule me of my height!!! *sniff*
Anyway the crux of the story is yet to come(yah , yah becoz i am a lousy writer can? i beat about the bush can? CANNOT lor...i am setting the scene hor!) After 15 mins of pretending that the 8 km/hr jog is not even close to increasing my heart-rate (in actual fact my heart is close to giving up on me for placing it under such unfounded stress, holding on only becoz i promised to treat it to a fat piece of rosted pork after the 'strenuous' workout!)
To exacerbate the situation, some ammonia-like substance began to replace the precious oxygen i was so desperately gasping for....and it took my oxygen-starved brain a good 15 secs to determine that gas as nothing short of a FART! Yes! wat nerve the imbecile had to rob me of my precious fresh air! That imbecile, i concluded, has to be none other than the guy on my left since the bloody air-con is blowing from left-to-right (however the stench is so darn over-powering that there may be room for error...still!! i had to blame someone rite?) Let me also add that there are no other visible gas-emitting animal/object/person within 1/2 a mile radius of us. Watever the case is, my anger and disbelief scaled new heights when the two of them (to my right and left respectively) turned simultaneously, with their faces contorted beyond their mum's recognition, TO ME??!!!!??? WTF? It's not me lor!! So wrongly accused yet helpless as the two giraffes exchange knowing glances over my head! Damn it!
Furious i was!!!! But i continued jogging, determined not to leave my TM and let them have the benefit of confirming their worst suspicion. Yes i shall deny them this pleasure....they should be ashamed of themselves for bullying someone shorter..erm i mean smaller size! 'Go pick on someone ur own size, i'm working hard as it is now..' my heart screams.... And just when i think it can't get any worse, a fresh burst of fart (the silent but smelly kind, mind u!!!totally unbearable!) was emitted into wat is left of my little atmosphere with renewed vengence. arghhhhhhhhh! That was it! i decided to stop jogging...simply because i was huffing and puffing with anger and fatigue which caused me to breath in thru my mouth and nose in gapping amounts......and what am i breathing in if i stayed on? definately not oxygen man!!!!damn the pollutants.......hmph!i stormed away.....

The sound of weights dropping loudly & carelessly back to its cradle woke me up from my day-dream. I found myself still on the treadmill but this time i was speed walking and there was no one else in sight....and i thought to myself....'wow, good on ya aileen..the bloody stories that u conjure up in ur pea-size head u call a brain just to find an excuse to stop doing the treadmill is so amazing u can write a short story in 45 mins!' ....i smiled to myself at how silly it was.

Life In Transition- make me an offer...Quick!!

2005-04-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

After graduation, people get a job...and what did i do? i got a blog! my frens must be laughing themselves silly over it! Heck , who cares...it is after all nobody's stupidity but my own what i choose to do with my life! I guess when u r kind of in between jobs, or waiting for some job offer to miraculously find its way into ur mailbox (hopefully with my name on it...btw it doesnt happen unless u attach a check for $10k under the 'about me' column of ur resume, which sure says alot about u -namely *desperate*!), or be labled a bum. I am often accused of the latter! which sucks btw if u have never experienced it before! I thought that if i attach a very professionally taken photo (read*pretty*) with my resume it might help, but my fren attached money (with no photo mind u!) n got the job!!!damn it! ok, who gives a damn about the darn waitressing job anyway...i got rejected coz i am too qualified...Hmph! Fine ok ok...i did not apply for a waitressing job and my fren did not stuff money to the recruiter, just trying to make myself feel better- a technique my frens term as denial! so brutally honest rite?...damn it! might as well slap me so i can wake up my bloody idea!
FUnnie how time seems to fly when u r officially 'buming'...eating away at my youth and watever age advantage i have over my classmates! But when i am still schooling, time just crawls by (with the exception of the one month before any exam) slower than a snail. It is almost akin to a woman's age. I Remember how I wished i was18 soon enough so I can 'officially' go clubbing, and when I reached 18, I decide that I am not satisfied and 21 would give me the rights to the R(A) movie i've been dying to see (regardless of whether the movie is good anot, what u cannot get u will want all the more!right? huh? huh?tell me i am not some sick psycho!) ...and then when I reached the symbolic 21 i was estatic, absolutely elated. When i wake up the next day..Lo and Behold i realise i am already 24!!!!!!! aaarghhhhhhh...so fast one meh? Can't seem to slow it down any more than i can control being unemployed! if this phenomenon does not stop soon, i will be fast approaching middle age!!! Before u know it 90/100 u interact with will address u as madam (wat abt the remaining 10 u ask? well obviously we must have been interacting with them thru the phone..wat other logical explaination can there be?)...the thought is unbearable! To add to the insult, imagine me all old and unemployed!!!! OMG, doesnt that just nicely fit the criteria for unemployment benefits...eligibility in this case is not something to be proud of!

Guess i would have to be my own boss, which would not have been possible if i have no chance to earn money hence save money rite? wat a Dilemma! SO anyone with a job to offer me...email me pls...or if u can't care less abt me (a complete stranger) make me a job offer also, coz for all u know, i may just be the best candidate for ur Co. Btw i graduated with a Masters degree (no biggie u say, still jobless mah.....gimme some credit can anot!!!go get one urself then we'll see!!)